This Is When It All Began
by jadeacl
Summary: Second in a trilogy of series. We saw the end to Long Ago - the story of friendship and romance now continues in this new series. As the gang enters a new phase in life, they re-discover themselves and the people around them.
1. The Beginning of Everything Else

**This Is When It All Began...**  
**Chapter 1  
The Beginning of Everything Else**   
**by: Jade**

* * *

**Disclaimer****: _Dawson's Creek_ and its characters were created by Kevin Williamson.  
  
Author's Note: I like the thing between Pacey and Andie but due to real-life relationship compatibility between Josh and Katie, I have to admit I'm much more inclined toward a Pacey/Joey romance. Just wanted to say that I have absolutely nothing against the character of Andie and that I like her because she brings out the best in Pacey, which has been fabulously played by Josh this past season. Oh yes, I've incorporated conversation from the actual show into this series; Many thanks to Kristin, the webmistress of Dawson's Creek: The Website, for allowing me to use her transcripts as a reference. So you should know what's going on if you've ever watched Season 1.   
We saw the end to _Long Ago..._ - The story of friendship and romance now continues in this new series.  
  
Summary: As the gang enters a new phase in life and experiences the ups-and-downs so reminiscent of high school, they re-discover themselves and the people around them.**

**Author's Note (in 2003): This piece of fic was started after the second season.**

* * *

"I'm not going to ask you what you just said because I'm pretty sure I heard what you just said."  
  
"I'm pregnant," she repeated, more clearly.  
  
"Okay." Joey held on to the table for support before speaking further. "I hope you know who the father is."  
  
Bessie let out a sign of frustration and settled back onto the couch. "Of course, I know who the father is."  
  
"Bodie?"  
  
She nodded.   
  
Joey decided she'd better take a seat before she fell to the floor and hurt her head, although at this point in time, it didn't sound all that bad...  
  
"The business just got going. I can't afford the time and money to have a kid now!"  
  
"You should have thought of that before." Before Bessie could turn the full power of her glare on her, she apologized. "All right, I'm sorry. I know this is the last thing you need right now but Bessie?"  
  
Bessie turned to look at her.  
  
"What the hell were you thinking!"

* * *

_Capeside, Massachusetts  
1997  
  
_"For the thousandth time, I will _not_ kiss Pacey!"  
  
Dawson let out a frustrated sigh. "Joey, I'm not going to make the deadline if you two keep going at it like this."  
  
"I have two words for you, Dawson. She put up one finger in front of him and said, "Number one, _Script_." And then she put up another. "And number two, _Re-write._"  
  
"We've been through this. You don't really want to ruin my potential career, do you?" Dawson stopped in his tracks and crossed his arms. "Looks like I'm going to have to spend the whole summer convincing you I'm worthy of this sacrifice."  
  
Joey crossed hers in response. "Get Pacey to kiss a doll. He'll be too happy to kiss anyone or _anything_, he's not going to know the difference."  
  
Joey," he chided.   
  
"Speak of the devil."  
  
Pacey rode up to them by the sidewalk on his bicycle.  
  
"We were just talking about you," Dawson said.  
  
"I'm sure," he replied. Seeing Joey roll her eyes, he stuck his tongue out at her and both of them began a contest of making faces at each other.   
  
Dawson rolled his eyes in dismay. "Why do I even bother?"  
  
They continued to bicker all the way to school.

* * *

The rest of the school year sped by like sunlight on a winter's day. Before either of them could contemplate it, they were a summer away from high school.  
  
It seemed though, that Dawson's troubles had already begun.  
  
"There! You saw it, he grabbed my ass!"  
  
Dawson moved his head from behind the camera and heaved a huge sigh. "Pacey, will you cut it out?"  
  
Pacey, who had been grinning, attempted to stifle a laugh as he put on a straight face for the benefit of the director. "Look, Steven may have turned into an ugly sea monster, but he still knows a female when he sees one."  
  
In reply, Joey glared at him.  
  
"Okay, I take it back. This one is _no_ girl."  
  
Joey glared even harder and this time, she slapped him on the arm.  
  
"Hey!" He lifted his hand to rub his arm as his skin began to turn red. "This is clearly abuse!"  
  
Dawson was beginning to feel the world's biggest headache coming on. "Will you guys please act your age and _not_ your shoe size?" He shook his head in despair. "Change of plans. I think we should just film the other scenes first and leave this one alone for the moment."  
  
Pacey gave him the thumbs-up. "Good idea. It'll save me from a fate worse than death." He plastered a phony smile on his face and scooted a distance away from his co-star before she could hit him again. "I have to go, Dawson. I'll see you tomorrow." With that, he was gone.  
  
"Did I even say we were done?" he wondered out loud.  
  
Joey bent to pick up the props as Dawson tidied up the equipment.  
  
"Staying for dinner?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah, why not? Bessie's stomach is starting to get too big for the kitchen anyway so Bodie's taking her out for a romantic dinner for two tonight."  
  
"How is everything?"  
  
"I am trying to be optimistic about the whole thing, really." She paused in her task and sat down on the boardwalk. Dawson came to sit beside her.  
  
"We had a talk the other night and I know how guilty she feels for having used up almost everything Mom left us for the Icehouse and now the baby."  
  
"Hey, I mean she has to make a living."  
  
"Exactly. I told her that. I told her without her, I wouldn't be able to continue with school and that I'm lucky to have her support. Still, you know, she's upset and worried about college for me."  
  
He squeezed her shoulder.  
  
"Frankly, so am I," she said.   
  
They sat in silence for awhile until Dawson lifted himself off the ground and reached out a hand to help her up. "I don't know about you but I'm starving."  
  
She took his hand and jumped to her feet. "Yeah, me too," she agreed. 

* * *

"You did it again, you grabbed my ass!"  
  
"Like you even have one."   
  
Before either of them could exchange blows, Dawson interrupted in an attempt to make them see reason.   
  
"Guys, we're way behind schedule, all right. We got two weeks, I'm not going to make the festival."  
  
"I'm not playing the victim," Joey insisted.   
  
He was at his wits'end. "Hello, some cooperation."   
  
"Hey, it's Meryl Streep's fault okay, I'm doing my best," Pacey retorted.   
  
"Bite me," she replied.   
  
The argument could have gone on if Pacey had not been distracted by a yellow cab pulling up then. What he saw next made him grin.  
  
"Well, my mouth drops."  
  
Joey followed a little behind as she watched the both of them ogling at the blonde. She rolled her eyes and muttered under her breath.  
  
"Testosterone."  
  
Pacey heard her and knew how annoyed Joey was and he would normally have taken the opportunity to tease her about it, if not for the more attractive task ahead.   
  
He reached out to shake her hand as she greeted them.  
  
Watching Dawson, he slightly raised an eyebrow as he clearly saw that the guy was more than entranced as they spoke. From the corner of his eye, he noted Joey's jealousy and couldn't help but grin at her expense.  
  
When Jen walked away, he laughed at Dawson and Joey mimicked the latter.   
  
Oh yes, this was going to be a long year.

* * *

He had been so determined to talk to Tamara tonight. All he got for his effort was a black eye and a painful jaw where he fell.  
  
As he nursed his wound and his bruised ego, he watched her dejected figure walking before him.   
  
As though she sensed he was watching her, she turned back. Crossing her arms, she waited for him to catch up with her.   
  
"You don't have to follow me, you know."  
  
"It's late and I promised I'll walk you to the boat." He winced as he felt a pain shoot through his head. "Ah, I insist, okay?" he said before she could protest any further.  
  
"What were you thinking anyway? Going after a teacher like that? Have you completely lost your mind?"  
  
"Whoa, one question at a time, all right? It still hurts when I talk."  
  
"Witter, you are one crazy-ass idiot."  
  
"All right, I'm not going to do it again, okay? Besides, you're not so sane yourself-" he paused as he searched for an appropriate word, "-chick. This thing with Dawson is starting to get tired and with Miss New York in the picture, you'd better get your act together."  
  
"There's nothing to get together. Maybe you should stop exercising your imagination so much!"  
  
"I'm not going to argue with you because my jaw feels like it's out of place. And we're here."   
  
He waited until she got into her boat before he turned around and went on his way.  
  
"Pacey!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do you think Dawson's going to forgive me for tonight?"  
  
He looked at her worried expression and gave in to his responsibility as a friend to comfort her instead of torturing her.  
  
"He will. The question is when."  
  
She bit her lower lip.  
  
"Maybe you should bake him an apple pie." He waved good-bye as he set on home.  
  
Joey sat in the boat, pondering for a moment before she turned on the motor and left.   
  
  
_To be continued…  
Please send all comments and suggestions to: pacey@hockeymail.com_


	2. Back To School

**This Is When It All Began...****  
Chapter 2  
Back To School  
****by: Jade**

* * *

**Disclaimer****: I only write fan fiction – it's self-explanatory.  
  
Author's Note: You have to know Season 1 at least a little because I'm assuming anyone who reads this will know what's going on even if I don't elaborate – things like how Joey first talked to Anderson and all that. However, although I don't own a single episode of Season 1 on video (don't ask), I did pay a fair amount of attention when I watched it on TV. I'm re-enacting scenes based on my memory, along with the help of detailed transcripts on Kristin's Dawson's Creek: The Website, so I would appreciate that you guys would take it with a pinch of salt if there are any inaccuracies, like if I make Dawson smile in a particular scene where he doesn't in the actual thing, that sort of stuff. Sometimes, I change little bits of details now and then just so it's easier to write the story. Confused about what I mean? Read on…**

* * *

"You're right, Dawson. It's perfect."  
  
"Okay, so we've decided. I'll get right down to the re-write."  
  
Pacey sighed. "Too bad. I was _really _looking forward to having to kiss you again, Stephanie." He pretended to be in sorrow for a couple of moments before he brought up the question, "So, does that mean I get to kiss Jen?"  
  
Pacey grinned and winked at the former. Joey rolled her eyes and Dawson hesitated. Jen looked at their individual reactions and laughed.

* * *

Pacey was changing out of his sea monster costume when Joey walked over to him. "You know," she said crossing her arms and squinting against the sunlight in the direction of Dawson and Jen. "something about her doesn't strike me as right."  
  
"Gee, that's a-" he paused to take off his wet shirt and grabbed a new one, "-surprise. You know that knot in your heart that seems to be getting tighter by the minute? It's jealousy."  
  
"Yeah, smarty pants."  
  
"Trust me. I've had more than my fair share of it."  
  
Dawson was yelling at them as he pointed to his watch. "Hey guys! We got to get going!"  
  
"Come on." He hastily ran a towel through his hair one last time and wrapped it round her neck before she had time to fight off the wet cloth. "Let's go!"

********** 

  
"Don't worry. I'll help you find your cousin."  
  
"That's so sweet of you. I can never thank you, I know."  
  
Pacey leaned over to kiss Jen, in the art of acting and refused to let go.   
  
Dawson's expression fell as he looked up from the camera. "Whoaaa! Cut. Cut. Pacey, what the hell are you doing!"  
  
"I'm kissing, what does it look like?"  
  
"Snorkeling! It's not the way it's scripted. He looked to Jen in concern. "Are you okay?"  
  
Jen was caught off guard but still found it amusing. "Yeah, I'm fine."  
  
Joey couldn't help grinning too. "It's just a kiss, Dawson."  
  
"And you know what?" Pacey started to lean toward Jen again. "Honestly, I think we should have another. Yeah?"  
  
"No. No. No kiss. I'm cutting the kiss. It's out."  
  
For the second time today, Joey was on Pacey's side. "Wait a second, you can't cut the kiss."  
  
"Yes, I can. I just did. All right? It's not working. It doesn't make sense to have our new character to be kissing her dead cousin's boyfriend. All right? The kiss is officially out."  
  
It was hard to argue with Dawson when his mind was set anyway. Pacey, who had a lot on his mind himself, offered no resistance   
  
"All right. So, then is that a wrap cause I got plans tonight, you know."  
  
"Yeah, it's a wrap."  
  
Jen noted the time and decided she'd better make a move before her Grams kicked up a big fuss. "Yeah, I probably should be going too. Bye guys."   
  
"Hey, Jen, wait up," Dawson called out as he ran after her, ignoring his equipment and leaving his two best friends behind.  
  
Joey was curious. "And what are you up to this evening?"  
  
"Well, it just so happens that the woman of my dreams is going to be at the school dance tonight and I plan on attending."  
  
"Lucky her."  
  
He winked. "If only you meant it." 

* * *

That night walking home with Joey and Dawson felt so much worse than that night after the movie, when he had a black eye. He felt unhappy, sad, confused and most of all, rejected. God, he would never understand women!   
  
He looked up and saw her. "This can't be happening," he sighed. Walking over, he addressed her cautiously, "Miss Jacobs?"  
  
"Hi, Pacey."   
  
"You know, I feel this strange familiarity creeping over me."  
  
As expected, she gave him a load of reasons and arguments that he hardly paid attention to and interrupted her several times to make his point.  
  
"Now, where do you get off taking all the responsibility for this? I may be just fifteen, but I am well beyond the age of accountability. Maybe not within the confines of the judiciary system, but for me. My lips kissed back. Right, I kissed you back."  
  
She agreed but refused to give up her side of the argument.  
  
"But, this can't happen again. From now our relationship is strictly teacher/student. I-I want that clear."  
  
"And if I object?"  
  
"Well, it's not up for discussion. You know it has to be this way, Pacey. For all the obvious and not so obvious reasons."  
  
He stood there, helpless and frustrated. Here he was, standing in front of the first woman he's ever had a real connection with and there was nothing he could do. He heard himself say, "This is so unfair. Umm...I'm not good with girls. And I finally meet someone-"  
  
She reached out a hand to caress his face.  
  
He sighed again. And she started to walk away but all he could say to stop her was, "Well?"  
  
He wasn't sure of what happened next but he did remember the feel of her fingers on his face and then they were kissing.

* * *

It was another fine day but Joey was stuck at the Icehouse, tolling over orders that had been coming in all afternoon. Bessie, who looked like a beached whale, was of little help.  
  
"Bodie," she chided, as he teased her sister one more time about her size. She grabbed her notebook and settled in the seat beside Pacey.  
  
She glared as she heard his last words, "Our serving wench is here."  
  
Dawson, who was seated opposite them was more concerned with the disruption of his schedule, created by his new PA role to Nellie on the production of _Helmets of Glory_. He winced as he said the title out loud in his head. As Pacey had said before, it definitely did feel like "pure humiliation". However, it was indeed better than nothing – it was a chance to prove himself to Mr. Gold and the rest of the class.  
  
"Of course this completely ruins my romantic plans with Jen this evening..."  
  
Pacey had been waiting for Joey to object to Dawson's obsession and sure enough, it came.  
  
"Would you forget Wonderbra for a moment? Don't you have to work on your own movie? What's up with that?"  
  
"Originally, I was going to do both. That was the plan. Bridge fantasy with reality and prove that, yes, romance can be created."  
  
"Get off of that," she quipped.  
  
Pacey was confused. "What are you talking about, man?  
  
"End of the movie, right? The monster is dead. Beauty killed the beast. Penelope, our heroine, says her final good-byes to the beast. I was thinking of shooting it up at the ruins."  
  
"Ah, that's trespassing, don't get caught," Joey warned.  
  
"It's the perfect monstrous haven. Lush and romantic."  
  
Pacey knew exactly what Dawson was up to and was proud of him. "And the perfect place to seduce the young and beautiful actress playing Penelope. You dog, you are sly," he voiced.  
  
Dawson wrinkled his nose. "You make it sound so cheap."  
  
Joey decided that she had enough of guys' talk. "Do you want anything or did you come just to infect the place?"  
  
"Uhhh," Pacey said, with a knowing grin.  
  
"I'm picking up a to-go order. Ten fish and chips, five family fries, and a dozen shrimp burgers."  
  
She took down Dawson's order and looked to Pacey. "And what do _you_ want?"  
  
"Actually something a little sexy would be good, I got a maybe sorta date this evening."  
  
And thus began another spat.  
  
"Hmm, who's the lucky farm animal tonight?"  
  
"Ahh, What's that, what's that that makes a woman horny?" he continued, ignoring her last question.  
  
"Your polar opposite?"  
  
"You mean oysters," Dawson offered.  
  
"Right oysters, A dozen oysters, Joey, pack 'em up."  
  
But Joey wasn't listening. Her attention had been diverted to a good-looking boy who had just walked into the restaurant.  
  
"And you could pack 'em up now, Joey. Hellooo? Joey? Hello? Anybody home?"  
  
"Who is that guy?"  
  
Joey looked back at Dawson, pleading ignorance. "Who's who?"  
  
Pacey wasn't about to let her off so easily. "Uh, the guy that was breaking your neck."  
  
"Who is he? Do you know him?" Dawson asked again.  
  
"I've never seen him before. He's probably some rich kid who just stepped off his Mommy and Daddy's yacht or something."  
  
"Could it be? Joey is finally noticing the opposite sex!" Pacey noted with exaggeration and perhaps, a little too loudly.  
  
"Shut up," she warned in a low but aggressive voice.  
  
Pacey was at an advantage. He noticed Joey's distraction and grabbed the chance to annoy her further. Throwing his voice across the place, he shouted in the direction of the guy, "Excuse me, young man! This woman here thinks you're very attractive!"  
  
She reached over and covered his mouth before he could embarrass her anymore.  
  
"You buttplug!"  
  
"Forget it, Joey. Guys off yachts don't go for waitresses."  
  
Her voice took on a new tone as she made her threat. "I'm going to kill you. One night in your sleep, a slit throat maybe, or a screwdriver to your temple. Be ready."  
  
He shrugged it off but for a split second, Pacey wondered if she actually meant it.

* * *

The telephone was beckoning to him and he hurried to answer it before it drove him nuts.   
  
"All right, I'm coming already!" He picked up the receiver and said a little too rudely, "Yeah?"  
  
"Pacey, I need your help…"

~~~~~~~~~~~ 

  
"As long as she didn't keep a secret. Didn't lie about it. The truth doesn't hurt, it's the lies that kill you. Honesty is still the primary quality I'm looking for in a girl."  
  
I really like this guy, Joey reminded herself time and time again. So, when he said what he said, she grimaced inwardly.

~~~~~~~~~~~ 

  
He arrived in the wheelchair Dawson requested forty-five minutes later.   
  
"Oh, magic filmmaking."  
  
"Pacey-" Dawson managed to stop his friend from saying more as he felt Nellie's eyes on them.  
  
Sure enough, they heard her next. "What's your loser friend doing here?"  
  
"Get out of that thing," said Dawson.  
  
" Just keeping it warm." Pacey exchanged hostile looks with Nellie, who was prompted to raise another objection, but this time round, it was brushed off by the director, who was close to being desperate.  
  
"Who, wo, woa. You've got an idea? Let's hear it. I'm open."

~~~~~~~~~~ 

  
And that was why she turned away when he leaned down to kiss her.  
  
"Look at the time, I've got to go."  
  
"Is that the truth? Or are you just trying to wiggle yourself out of a romantic situation?"  
  
" I'm sorry," were the first words out of her mouth.  
  
"Let's get Cinderella home."  
  
Joey was grateful that he didn't push her for an explanation, which compelled her to say, "Today was a lot of fun, Anderson. But you should know the truth."  
  
"And that would be?" he asked.  
  
"I'm not Cinderella. Not even close."

* * *

They had finally completed the filming of that particular scene and no one was more relieved than Pacey, who wanted to get away in order to see Tamara. That night, something had clicked between them and maybe, just maybe…  
  
That was the reason he took the route through the school rather than around it but when he heard her and Mr. Gold talking and laughing, his heart fell to the floor once again.  
  
He questioned himself for the umpteenth time. What the hell am I doing? This is so stupid!  
  
But then she came round the corner and he saw her face and the self-doubts stopped.   
  
"Hello Tamara," he said.  
  
Her face fell. "Mr. Gold is right around the corner."  
  
"I know, I heard. He's walking you home."  
  
"Well, Mr. Gold is a friend of mine."  
  
"Oh, clearly."  
  
"_Friend_, Pacey," she emphasized.  
  
"Well, I know what you do with your students so I know he's in for one heck of a ride." He didn't know where this conversation was going but he wanted to hurt her, make her feel something for him, with his words.  
  
"Look you have got to stop with this before it gets out of hand."  
  
"Oh this is already out of hand." She turned to go but he stopped her.  
  
"What do you want from me?"  
  
"You. I want you."

* * *

That night, Pacey lay in his bed wondering if things had gone too fast for either of them. He would never regret what had finally happened between them at the ruins but now there was someone else to think of.   
  
He was determined that no one could ever find out, otherwise it would mean the end to Tamara's career and her life.  
  
  
Jen had been tossing around in her bed for half-an-hour before she gave up and finally went downstairs to get herself a glass of warm milk. As she waited for the milk to heat up, she admitted to herself that she liked Dawson a lot but there would come a time when she would have to come clean with her past. What then? How would he react once her secret was out in the open?  
  
  
Next door, Dawson had fallen into a peaceful sleep with a smile on his face.  
  
  
Joey sat by the window seat, looking out into the starless sky. She had been wrestling with herself if she should just go back and find that piece of paper and call Anderson.   
  
Yet, she knew it wouldn't amount to anything even if she plucked up her courage and swallowed her pride. Anderson wasn't whom she was in love with.  
  
He had been her chance, her only chance in a long time to try to forget, to try to change how she felt. But she had failed again.  
  
A single tear fell as she continued to watch the sky.  
  
  
_To be continued…   
Please send all comments and suggestions to: pacey@hockeymail.com_


	3. Growing Pains

**This Is When It All Began…****  
Chapter 3  
Growing Pains  
****by: Jade**

* * *

**Disclaimer****: As parts one and two.  
  
Author's Note: I wish to reassure readers that I did _not_ and do _not_ have the intention of simply recycling dialogue from the first season, slap around a few changes and then call it my fanfic. I honestly concluded from feedback I've got from people over the past year that a majority prefer Season One remains untouched and so, in order to write about the "present" aspect of _Dawson's Creek_, I did it this way. Of course, I would get back to re-inventing as a fanfic writer, just as soon as I have set the stage for where I want this story to go.   
I sincerely apologize to anyone who feels sorta cheated by the use of unoriginal material. I promise the real thing's coming soon.  
  
Once again, many thanks to Kristin and her site: Dawson's Creek: The Website **

* * *

The time had come for him to be an adult. He knew this day would eventually arrive and he would have to do the right thing. He would have to let her go. He would have to lie.  
  
She was facing judgement from a panel who had no idea how deeply he felt for her. They hadn't a clue.  
  
Taking a deep breath, he walked over and straightened himself, trying to stand as tall as he could in spite of how small he felt.   
  
"Mr. Witter, you are to wait until you're summoned."  
  
"Ah, look, I don't mean any disrespect here. But, if you'll just give me a second, I'll have you all home for dinner. Okay?"

~~~~~~~~~~~ 

  
  
She was completely entranced by his eyes. They reminded her so much of her mother's; on his angelic face they appeared wide and soft, gentle and understanding; most importantly, unhardened to the real world out there. Joey was reluctant to put the baby down. After all the excitement for the day, all she wanted to do was stay where she was, with her nephew in her arms. But there was something she needed to do.   
  
"I have to say good night for now," she whispered. She let out a chuckle as he replied with a yawn. As she stood up from the chair, ready to hand her sister back her child, he reached out and grabbed her finger with a fist of his own.  
  
She sat back down. "Okay, maybe I'll stay awhile more," she agreed.

* * *

"Okay, Dawson didn't know where you were. Neither did your parents," she paused, taking her place on the swing beside the one he was on. "Your dad, I gather, wasn't too pleased with the news. Doug was pretty vocal about it as well."  
  
"Have I ever mentioned my brother has the utmost trust in me? In fact, he felt it within his duty to warn me about possibly disgracing the family by lying and then decided it was necessary to end his self-righteous pep talk on a high note by laughing in my face?"  
  
For as long as she could remember, there were few occasions, like this one, where she was uncertain of what to say to Pacey.  
  
He leaned forward and rested his aching forehead on his clasped hands. "Thanks for talking to me this afternoon though," he said, turning to look at her and offering a brief smile. "It did make me feel a little better."  
  
In that second, she knew she had been wrong, like the rest of them. "I'm sorry I thought it was just a stunt to impress the girls."  
  
"Who could blame you? I had a hard time believing it myself," he shrugged.  
  
They sat in silence for a few minutes.  
  
"My sister had her baby today. A boy."  
  
His smile was less reluctant this time. "Congratulations, Aunt Joey."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
They lapsed into more silence.   
  
"When Bessie told me she was pregnant, I felt angry. My first thought was 'How could she do this to me now?' With my mom gone and my dad in jail, it was the last thing we needed. I didn't want us to hurt as a family any longer – all that pain and worry was too much to take. But when I saw the baby for the first time today, it felt like things were going to get better. Then, it hit me that Bessie needed me now more than ever emotionally and I felt guilty." She absently drew a circle in the sand with the tip of her shoe as he waited for her to continue. "I think the real reason behind my initial anger was the fact that I wanted so much to start my life over somewhere else and leave all my problems behind. And the real reason behind my present guilt is because I still want that, even after all that's happened today."  
  
"I guess it's true then."  
  
She raised her eyebrow in question.  
  
"That when something good happens, something bad has to happen to balance it out."  
  
"What are you saying?"  
  
"I told them it was a fantasy I conjured up. I told them nothing happened between me and Tamara."  
  
He missed the look that passed over her face.   
  
"I said good-bye to her less than an hour ago. She's leaving for Rochester in the morning."  
  
"How do you feel?" she asked cautiously.  
  
"Like I put my big foot in my even bigger mouth. I should have just kept it to myself. I should have checked the bathroom stalls more carefully-"  
  
"You shouldn't have slept with her." The minute the words were out of her mouth, she realized she had been too abrupt.  
  
"So, this is how you really feel." Pacey shook his head knowingly. "Are you going to let me in on the point of the story about feeling guilty about Bessie and the baby?"  
  
She could tell he was slightly angered by her remark. "I'm ashamed to say I didn't think those rumors were true." He looked away. "Look Pacey, you know I'm the last person who would pass judgement on anything scandalous but that's because I was also the last person who expected my father to be serving time and my sister to be an unwed mother."   
  
He got off his swing in a huff and started to walk away. She stopped him by standing in his path.  
  
"I'm pretty sure I'll love this baby more than life itself. But I had no say in the matter and you have control over what's happening in your life. It's just better to stay out of trouble's way. Juicier gossip doesn't always come along to erase the past."  
  
"What you said after school on the pier, I thought you understood. Obviously, I was wrong."  
  
"What I said," she emphasized, "was that I understood what you were going through. What I didn't say, but most assuredly did experience, is that people don't necessarily forget and there are always high risks. Learning the hard way hurts."  
  
He stared directly into her eyes. "You make it sound as if it was just a _game_ to me. Joey, we both love to shock to get back at people but those are just words we say and don't mean. This time's different. I don't know what it is exactly that I feel for Tamara Jacobs but it did mean something."  
  
"You might not believe it but we _are_ friends." She held on to his arm to halt him. "We both know your relationship with her wouldn't have lasted yet you went ahead anyway. Why didn't you give up?"  
  
"Because I believe sometimes you have to fight like hell for what looks impossible. Because sometimes it's right to do the wrong thing."  
  
She released her grip on him, not missing the hidden meaning behind his words.  
  
"Thanks again for making me feel better so, let's just end these few-and-far-between moments we have like we always do as _friends_," he said sarcastically. "One of us always walks away first."   
  
With that, he left her behind on her own.

* * *

It was another one and a half weeks before either of them would be in the same room at the same time for more than a class period. And considering the next eight hours would be spent stuck in detention together, they felt that maybe they could be civil to each other.  
  
The only glitch: Joey was still fuming and Pacey wasn't about to apologize.  
  
Abby Morgan had suggested a game of truth and dare and now it was Pacey's turn.  
  
"Dare...truth...I don't care," he said nonchalantly.  
  
"Okay, truth. Pacey, why are you in detention?"  
  
He hesitated. "Well, uh, it's just, uh, I want a dare."  
  
Joey grabbed the chance to annoy him further as she egged him on to answer Abby's question. "Oh, come on Pacey, just tell us."  
  
"Hey, I want a dare."  
  
Abby reluctantly let him off the hook as she called him a wuss. "Fine, dare. I dare you to kiss on the lips for 10 seconds...Jen!"  
  
Dawson's protest was instantaneous. All but Abby and Joey followed.  
  
"What?"  
  
"This is stupid."  
  
"Yeah, nobody wants to play this game anyway."  
  
Joey watched Pacey and Jen, the two people she happened to dislike at the moment, squirm; maybe this Saturday wouldn't be so bad after all. "I do. And Pacey said 'dare', better do what she says."  
  
Pacey glanced at her and refused to admit defeat. "Fine. What do I care?" And he leaned toward Jen and kissed her.  
  
When that was over, he gave her a triumphant look. "Okay, Joey, Miss 'You better do what she says'. What will it be, truth or dare?"  
  
He was backing her into a corner. She protested of course, but Pacey wasn't listening. "Ah-ha-ha-ha. Truth or dare?"  
  
She wasn't about to give in either. "Truth," she replied defiantly.  
  
Pacey paused. For a second, he looked like he was about to change his mind but his next words implied otherwise. "Okay. Who do you like?"  
  
"Who do I like?"  
  
"Very simple. Who are you in love with? The truth."   
  
Four pairs of eyes were on her as she racked her brain for her voice. She swallowed visibly.  
  
"Did I say truth? I meant dare."  
  
Abby rolled her eyes and started muttering insults.  
  
"I'll do anything. I'll climb through the ventilation chaps or I'll go flash Mrs. Tringle."  
  
Pacey gave her a look that said 'No way I'm going to let you off this easy'. "Okay, perfect. Then in keeping with our kissing theme, Joey, I dare you to kiss on the lips for 15 seconds, Dawson Leery."  
  
"No. No way."  
  
What she said fell on deaf ears and she gave up, trying to back away. Sure, I can do this. It's just Dawson. So what if I'm in love with the guy? It means nothing, it's just a kiss, she told herself.  
  
She was filled with dread and surprisingly, a glimmer of hope and anticipation as they drew closer and their lips touched. Just close your eyes, girl and imagine he's in love with you, said the voice in her head.  
  
She opened her eyes and they moved away from each other. She met Pacey's knowing gaze and her anger at him tripled in that single second. I will get you for this, she warned without so much as saying a word but just with a glare.

~~~~~~~~~~ 

  
  
Joey couldn't help grinning when she found out the reason behind Pacey's detention. She tried to be sympathetic but laughter was threatening to overflow and thought it better to observe the rest of the conversation silently. Pacey and Dawson were having a "moment" as they apologized to each other and called a truce. But when they moved on to the subject of sex and virgins, she couldn't help interjecting.  
  
"You know, when did everyone because so obsessed with sex? Now, you too, Dawson. If you're worried that everyone's more experienced than you, you can rest easy because you still have one friend who will probably go to her grave a virgin."  
  
And then as if by magic, she couldn't stop talking. She started being honest, first and foremost, with herself. She told them she had already found the right guy. She told them she felt alone more than ever. She told them she was scared that things would change.  
  
If Mrs. Tringle hadn't chosen to walk in then, she might have told them she was in love with her best friend.

* * *

He came up silently behind her and held on gently to her arm as they filed out of the school building.  
  
"Can we talk?" he said, before she had time to wrangle herself away from him.  
  
"What do you want, Pacey? I've just utterly humiliated myself in front of everyone. Happy now?"  
  
"Do you really think so lowly of me, Joey?" he said quietly. When she didn't reply immediately, he took it as a signal that she wasn't going to run. "I'm sorry about what happened back there."  
  
"Why? Haven't you always known?"  
  
"I'm not here to talk about Dawson. I just want to apologize for my behavior that night."  
  
Dawson and Jen didn't want to interrupt what looked like a personal conversation between Pacey and Joey and so they set off on their own first. Several times, he looked back over his shoulder, puzzlement on his face. "You have any idea what Joey meant in the library?" he asked Jen.  
  
"I think she'll tell you when she's ready, Dawson," she replied.  
  
Pacey saw Dawson looking their way and indicated that they would be right behind.  
  
"I admit I haven't been in the best of moods, especially with Tamara gone and all. Probably why Dawson lost his patience with me too," he shrugged. "I didn't agree with your view that we shouldn't take chances," he continued pointedly, "but that doesn't mean I had to be an ass about it. I'm sorry."  
  
"And I'm sorry too," Joey admitted, "for saying what I did. For being a nag when what you needed was someone to listen. I don't know what came over me."  
  
"Can we just go back to our normal routine as sparring partners and leave the mushy, personal stuff aside?"  
  
"That I can do."  
  
"Great, it's a deal. We get back to quarreling with each other, no holds barred."  
  
"I agree."  
  
"So," he said, putting an arm around her, "Now that we're back to normal…_how _was that fifteen seconds for you?"  
  
She glanced at his arm on her shoulder and then glared at him. "Get your filthy paws off me," she warned in an even tone, with a hint of malice that would be undetectable to an untrained ear.  
  
"Busted."

***** 

  
All seemed well as this underlying and unspoken love-hate behavior between them continued to form the basis of their friendship until one day, life threw an unexpected curve in their direction and upset the balance.   
  
  
_To be continued…  
Please send all comments and suggestions to: pacey@hockeymail.com_


	4. In The Summertime

**This Is When It All Began…****  
Chapter 4  
In The Summertime  
****by: Jade**

* * *

**Disclaimer****: I didn't create _Dawson's Creek_.  
  
Author's Note: This will be one of my many imagined scenarios of how Season Three could possibly go…probably worlds apart from what *actually* happens in the script.**

* * *

_Capeside, Massachusetts  
Summer 1999  
  
_"What do you mean you _may_ be tired of being her man? You don't just fall _out _of love with someone, especially not with someone like Joey."  
  
Dawson rubbed his temples as the pain in his head got worse. "Pacey, I don't want to talk about it, all right?"  
  
"Well, don't! Talk to her."  
  
"I've tried calling her house so many times I think Bessie's going to disconnect the phone. She doesn't want to see or speak to me."  
  
"Maybe all she needs is some time and space. It's only been two weeks."  
  
"I've given her all the time and space I can give!" he said, a little too loudly. "I'm just so sick of this."  
  
There was a moment's pause on the other end of the line.  
  
"What do you want me to do?"   
  
Dawson breathed a sigh of relief at his words. "I know you hate to be in the middle of this but I can't help worrying about how she's been dealing with the aftermath."  
  
"You know you still love her."  
  
"Yeah, but what does that matter?" 

* * *

"I'm not going to beat around the bush. Dawson sent me over to check on you."  
  
He was standing on her front porch, face-to-face with a girl who hardly looked like Joey.  
  
"Don't mind my saying, but you look horrible." He pushed past her and entered the house.   
  
"What do you think? I had a hand in imprisoning my father, who was responsible for the burning down of the Potters' livelihood and my best friend since pre-school, who also happened to be my boyfriend, sorry, _ex_-boyfriend, betrayed my trust." She crossed her arms. "Tell me, Pacey, how would you look under such circumstances?"  
  
"You know Dawson had to do what he did."  
  
"No, I don't," she said, walking over to the couch, "and even if I did, I still wouldn't be able to stay on with Dawson and live with the guilt."  
  
She took up more than half of where she was sitting but Pacey ignored the hint and tried to squeeze her out of some space. Reluctantly, she moved aside to let him ease back on the couch.   
  
"Why are you doing this?" she asked.  
  
"You guys are my best friends. I hate to see either of you like that. Isn't there a chance you could work this out in a civilized manner?"  
  
She chose not to answer the question and instead, got up and walked to the door. "I need to take a breather," she said.   
  
He followed her outside.  
  
"Will you just leave me alone?"  
  
He grabbed her hand and pulled her down the few steps leading to his father's truck, parked in front of her house. He opened the passenger door for her and waited for her to get in.  
  
"What is the meaning of this?" she demanded to know.  
  
"If you want to wallow, you might as well have fun at the same time. Get in."  
  
"Dawson asked you to check up on me, not be my bodyguard."  
  
"Humor me, all right?"  
  
"I'm not going anywhere with you," she insisted.  
  
"Fine, suit yourself." He settled himself onto the driver's seat and slammed the door shut. Turning on the ignition, he stepped on the gas and reversed the vehicle.   
  
She stood there, watching him until she heard a baby's cries, followed by an adult yelling her name, from the house. "Wait!" she shouted.  
  
He watched as Joey got into the passenger's seat and strapped in her seatbelt.   
  
"I changed my mind, okay?"  
  
He tilted his head. "Did I say anything?"

* * *

She ended up at the annual summer carnival, cotton candy in one hand and popcorn in the other.   
  
"We're going to OD on sugar," Joey commented as she took another bite of candy. "But who cares?"   
  
Pacey emptied his pockets of empty wrappers and wiped his fingers and mouth clean with a tissue Joey handed him. "Want some ice-cream?"  
  
She laughed. "You missed a spot," she said, gesturing with her box of popcorn toward his face.  
  
"Where, here?" he asked, wiping his cheek.   
  
"No, here."  
  
"Here?"  
  
"It's still there. Hold this." She handed him her popcorn and used her free hand to rub the spot above his lip. "Got it," she said and then she licked it off her finger and took back her snack.  
  
Pacey was a little surprised by the gesture.  
  
"What?" She gave him a weird look. "It's just chocolate," she explained. Her attention was immediately diverted by a ring toss.  
  
"Can we?" she asked, excited.  
  
"Sure," he replied, still fazed by Joey.  
  
She put down her food and handed the man a dollar and he gave her four times the allotment of rings. Most customers would have given him a quarter but Joey knew her aim was less than accurate and true enough, all of her tries fell wide.  
  
Pacey was watching her with amusement. "Just exactly which prize are you aiming for?"  
  
"The beads." Her eyes shone like a child's as she whispered to him.   
  
"Are you sure you don't want something a little more attractive?"  
  
"I've never had a gaudy necklace before and that one's perfect. I remember when we were younger, Bessie and I fought over one-," she paused suddenly as though what she was about to say was meant to be a secret. "-our dad won at a fair." She looked down at her feet and started playing with her fingers. "Bessie got them in the end. She probably lost them years ago." Still not looking at Pacey, she continued, "Come on, let's go."  
  
"Hang on," he said. His voice was so gentle and reassuring, she had to meet his eyes. When she did, she was surprised by their sadness, which quickly disappeared under her gaze and was replaced by a twinkle.  
  
He handed the man a quarter. "Your wish is my command." And he landed all three tosses perfectly on target. With a smile, the man behind the counter handed him the beads.  
  
"Here," he said, turning her and put them around her neck, "All yours."  
  
She touched them gingerly, afraid they might fall apart in her hands. "Thank you," she replied quietly.   
  
He smiled. "You're welcome."   
  
An awkward silence began to fill the air. Clearing his throat, he hurried her along. "Now, can we _please_ go get some ice cream?"  
  
She grinned. "Yeah, sure."

* * *

"Okay, maybe all that junk food wasn't such a good idea after all," he groaned in pain.   
  
They were sprawled out in Joey's porch, rubbing their protruding bellies as they prayed for digestion to take over before they exploded.  
  
"I'll say," she agreed as she grimaced. "I think I'm going to be sick."  
  
"Not in front of me, please. I don't think I could take it now."   
  
Trying to take her mind off how she felt, she asked him the question that had been bugging her all day.   
  
"Is it just that simple?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Are you here just to make sure I don't kill myself?"  
  
"We didn't think you were going to kill yourself," he answered truthfully.  
  
"Okay, fair enough. But tell me, Pacey, what else is on your mind?"  
  
He would never have guessed that she would be able to read him that well. "I thought I had that part covered pretty well."  
  
"Apparently not well enough." She shrugged. "So what is it?"  
  
"Well," he said as he sat himself up, "the idea only popped in my head this afternoon." He hesitated but she hurried him along with his explanation. "You know the school's allowed me to re-sit my finals?" He waited for her nod before dropping the bombshell. "I need help. And fast."  
  
She didn't move or say a word.  
  
"Well, I normally wouldn't bother you with this. I know there are much better ways to spend your summer," he hastily explained, "but Andie's not here and I really need someone to make me follow a strict regime. What better alternative than you?" He laughed a little but his smile died down as she raised her brow at the subtle insult.   
  
"Not that being all-work-and-no-play is a bad thing. I mean, I love Andie for it and all." He watched her eyes open wider. "Okay, I should shut up right about now, yes?"  
  
"That will be my guess, yes."  
  
"Forget I asked. I'll just have to rely on self-discipline."  
  
This time, it was her turn to laugh.  
  
"Ha, ha, hilarious," he replied.  
  
"You're not going to declare your attraction for me again this time, are you?"  
  
He looked at her and it dawned on him as she started to grin. He smiled as he thought back to the time they had to work together on the marine biology project. "Well, I promise I'll try not to kiss you this time."  
  
She sighed. "That will have to do for now, I suppose." She reached out a hand and they shook on it.  
  
"Deal," she said.

* * *

"Pacey, we've got eight days left. Will you please sit your butt down and stop rummaging through my kitchen for food?"  
  
Observing the books and papers sprawled all over the coffee table, she grabbed another aspirin and took a huge gulp of water. In the background, there was the sound of a kitchen cabinet closing and the refrigerator opening.   
  
"You want something to drink?" he yelled.  
  
"Pacey!" She gritted her teeth. " If you don't get in here in the next twenty seconds, you're going to have to suffer the consequences and I don't mean just failing!"  
  
"All right," he assured her as he came back from the kitchen, with a pack of potato chips and a can of soda. "Re-"  
  
"Don't tell me to relax!" She clenched her fist and made the motion that she was about to lose her patience and punch him in the stomach.  
  
"Okay." He took her hand and unclenched her fingers one by one. "Just breathe," he said and he took a deep breath and let it out in an exaggerated manner. "Just let all that hot-headed blood from your head flow back to where it came from."  
  
She tried to look stern but her forced expression gave her away. She took a deep breath and let it out softly. "I don't know how anyone can stand to be your tutor."  
  
"Joey, we worked hard on that project together just so I didn't have to go to summer school. I don't think repeating my sophomore year is going to be any more glamorous, do you?" He put down his soda and made the sign of a cross on his heart. "Cross my heart, hope to die. I will have all this," he gestured toward the books and papers and pointed to his head, "in here by Tuesday. Take it easy, will you?"  
  
"I'll try," she relented, "but it won't be easy."

* * *

"Pass me the hose."  
  
Dawson handed it to him. "So…," his voice drifted off.  
  
"So?"   
  
"Nothing."   
  
Pacey gave him back the hose and returned his attention to washing the car, having promised his father to do so in return for using it.  
  
"Well…"  
  
He sighed and threw the cloth on the bonnet. "Dawson, why don't you just get it off your chest and ask me?"  
  
"Ask you what?"  
  
He crossed his arms. "Dawson," he warned.  
  
"All right, all right." He lifted his hands in surrender. "I give. How's Joey?"  
  
"She's fine." He picked up his cloth and started cleaning the windshield wipers.  
  
"You've been spending all this time with her and that's all you can tell me?"  
  
"She hasn't exactly been pouring her heart out to me and anyway most of the time, we're studying."  
  
"Give me something more."  
  
"Dawson…" He came around the car and took the hose out of the latter's hands and turned it off. "Let's sit."  
  
They settled themselves on the front steps to Pacey's house and opened two cans of Coke.  
  
"Look, I promised I'd look out for her and I have, really. But she always evades the 'How are you truly feeling' question of the day and I just can't get her to say more than 'Pacey, what the hell are you doing'. Believe me, I've tried."  
  
"I'm not sure what it is that I want to hear. I don't know if I want her to say that she was wrong and that she misses me and she wants me back or let's go back to just being friends except that's impossible now." He made a face of utter disillusionment. "Argh!" And then he buried his face beneath his hands.  
  
Pacey opened his mouth to say something but changed his mind and wrapped his arm around his best friend instead.

* * *

"Very good," she admitted, pleasantly surprised after Pacey had just displayed his impressive knowledge of _As You Like It_.  
  
He took a bow. "Thank you."  
  
"Once again, I _may_ have underestimated your talents."  
  
"Why, Joey Potter," he said, hand on his chest, in exaggerated horror, "Are you admitting you're _wrong_?"   
  
She rolled her eyes in reply. Inwardly, she was actually amazed at how quickly Pacey had absorbed all that school material in so short a time. She really hadn't given him enough credit.  
  
"You know, you've really changed."  
  
"No." He shook his head. "I've always been me. The _intelligent_-" he said, looking at her pointedly in slight humor as she shrugged, "-part of me just chose to remain hidden until Andie came along."  
  
She didn't miss the slight tremor in his voice as he mentioned his girlfriend's name.   
  
"You miss her."  
  
He walked over to the window and she didn't think he was going to answer.   
  
"Yes, I miss her so much it hurts. They only let her make one phone call outside of the family once every two weeks for fear of slowing down her progress."  
  
"It sucks." She got off the couch and walked over to where he was standing. "If it makes you feel any better, you've helped me."  
  
He looked back at her, puzzled by what she said.  
  
"You've kept my mind off my problems by being you," she teased but in a more serious tone, she continued, "I cut down to thinking about my father from every five minutes to just under an hour."  
  
"I'm that good, huh?"  
  
They smiled at each other. He leaned the side of his head against the pane and shut his eyes for a moment.   
  
"Thank you," she said softly.  
  
He opened his eyes. "Things can't get any worse, can they?"  
  
She had no answer to that.  
  
  
_To be continued…   
Please send all comments and suggestions to: pacey@hockeymail.com_


	5. Massachusetts

**This Is When It All Began…****  
Chapter 5  
Massachusetts  
****by: Jade **

**

* * *

**

**Disclaimer****: Please do not sue because I haven't claimed I owned anything.  
  
Author's Note: Thinking of that Bee Gees song title… Just to clear the air of any doubts and confusion – Dawson is absent for the rest of the summer as he goes to Philadelphia for an internship at his mother's new place of work. I've been thinking about Season Two and how it got so involved in couplehood that it almost never conveyed any interaction between the various pairs of friends, such as Pacey and Jen, Jen and Joey and of course, Pacey and Joey. I don't wish to make those two jump into an unrealistic romance, so first, I have to establish a credible friendship. Be patient with me.**

**

* * *

**

"Take care, man."  
  
Pacey wrapped his friend in a tight embrace and gave him a pat on the back.  
  
"I'll see you in ten weeks," Dawson replied.   
  
They moved apart and he picked up his bags as the final call for his bus came over the loudspeakers once more.  
  
He looked around one last time as he searched in vain for a figure he hoped to see.  
  
"She's not coming, is she?" he said quietly.  
  
"I'm sorry," was all Pacey could say.   
  
"Just watch out for her, okay?"  
  
"I will."  
  
Amidst their good-byes, they both missed the silhouette of a tall brunette, half-hidden behind a tree on the opposite side of the street as she struggled not to cry.

* * *

Pacey walked the hallway outside Mr. Milo's office for the umpteenth time as he awaited the eventual outcome of his sophomore year.  
  
The door opened and Mr. Milo walked out.  
  
"Mr. Witter, I will see you now."

***** 

  
At the Potters' residence, Joey wasn't any less anxious.   
  
"Joey, stop pacing! You're giving me a headache."  
  
"Where is he?" She stretched over the kitchen sink to look out the window. "He should have been here by now."  
  
"Calm down. He probably got caught up in traffic."  
  
Joey gave her a look that said it all. "This is _Capeside_, Bessie."  
  
She shrugged. "Just trying to help," she said as she resumed feeding Alexander who was sitting on her lap.  
  
Joey pulled out a chair and tried to settle herself down but she was up and jumping when she heard a car pull up. "Did you _hear_ that? He's here."  
  
She ran out of the house before she had time to overanalyze the situation and conceal her anxiety and nervousness.  
  
Racing down the front steps, she met his eyes just as he got out of the truck.  
  
Pacey was contemplating how he should break the news to her as he tried to keep a straight face but the minute he saw her running toward him enthusiastically, he broke into a smile.  
  
She saw it in his eyes then.  
  
For the first time in the longest while, she squealed with delight and nearly tackled him to the ground as she jumped into his arms and hugged him.  
  
He started to laugh.  
  
Inside the house, Bessie heard her sister scream in joy and grinned.  
  
Things were starting to look up.

* * *

"What's she saying? Let me talk to her."   
  
Pacey watched Joey mouth "What's going on" as she tried to stay out of the way of the horde of shoppers on this busy Saturday afternoon in Boston.  
  
"Andie wants to talk to you," he yelled over the noise of cars honking and the impatient man in queue for the pay phone they were using.  
  
He handed her the phone and walked to the shop directly in front of them and started waving excitedly past the mannequins in the window display.  
  
"Hi, Andie."  
  
"Joey, thank you so much for helping him with the finals." Joey could hear the grin and Andie's usual perkiness on the other line and could not help but smile at the latter's optimism. "Thanks for taking care of him."  
  
Joey watched Pacey as he made a funny face at a young boy, who was walking by, carrying a balloon. The child started to laugh and Joey smile's grew even broader.  
  
"Err…I wouldn't say this to him, but really, he's been the one taking care of me."   
  
He was soon joined by Jack, who began gesturing wildly to Joey that he wanted to speak to his sister, and Jen, whose hands were occupied with bags, coming out of the shop.  
  
"I haven't spent that much in ages!" she remarked, lifting her purchases and beaming proudly. "And it was worth it."  
  
"You go, Jen!" Pacey mocked in light humor.  
  
And she curtsied. Jack was now on the phone with Andie and waved Jen over. Thrusting her bags at Pacey and Joey, who had just walked over to where they were standing, she said, "Help me with these for a moment, will you?"  
  
Neither of them had the chance to object as they were instantly flooded with bags of clothes and shoes.  
  
"Sure, why not?" Joey said.  
  
Glancing over at her, he commented, "You're not regretting this, are you?"  
  
"Asking Jack and Jen along?"   
  
He nodded.  
  
"No, she replied honestly, "not at all."  
  
"That's good."  
  
"Pacey, this trip was to celebrate your official promotion to junior year of high school. What matters is who _you_ wanted to come along."  
  
"It's been so long since we've actually gone out as a group. Even though some of us couldn't be here, I wanted today to be great," he said, observing Jack and Jen, taking turns to tell Andie about the summer so far and the man in the queue, who looked like he was about to pull his hair out.  
  
She sobered as he had inadvertently brought up Dawson.  
  
He saw her expression. "I miss him too," he continued. He hadn't the time to say more as Jack called out to him, "Pacey, she's got to go."  
  
It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what he was saying to his girlfriend before he bade her good-bye.   
  
"I love you." Joey whispered those words as she felt the ache in her heart that had been left behind by those words gone missing and the boy from across the creek who used to say them, for far too long.  
  


***** 

  
The streets got quieter as the hours went by. The four of them were exhausted from walking around the city and decided to find a nice place to have dinner.  
  
Jen held on to Pacey's arm as she dragged her tired feet each step of the way. She was so fatigued, he practically had to lift her in order to move.  
  
"Serves you right for going crazy with the summer sales," he teased. He turned back to look at Jack and Jen who were a few feet behind, shaking their heads and laughing at Jen.  
  
It grew a little chillier and Joey snuggled closer to Jack as they kept walking. She felt happier being surrounded by her friends and was glad she hadn't chosen to coop herself up in the house in misery.  
  
"Joey, I know we haven't really had the chance to talk but I want you to know I'm here anytime you need to."  
  
She touched his arm in reassurance. 'I know, Jack."  
  
He replied with a kiss to her forehead. "I'm glad you and Pacey haven't been left individually alone too much to dwell on matters."  
  
"He's been a great help," she admitted. "But if you ever tell him that, I'll deny it," she added in a less serious tone.  
  
He made the motion of zipping his lips. "Not a word, I promise. We all know how Joey Potter could never be seen losing an argument to Pacey Witter."  
  
Joey poked him in the ribs and he yelped. 

~~~~~ 

Pacey and Jen paused in their stride when they heard the noise.   
  
"What's going on?" Jen called out.  
  
"I stepped on his foot _accidentally_," was Joey's reply. "He'll be fine."  
  
Jen turned her attention back to Pacey. "Where were we?"  
  
"How's the new living arrangement been going?"  
  
"Really well, actually. Jack's a terribly neat person."  
  
"And the situation with your Grams?"  
  
"Things feel different but they're definitely for the better," she assured him. "This trip was a great idea. I'm glad I got invited to come along."  
  
"We're glad you could make it."  
  
"We?"  
  
"I came up with the idea but Joey was the first one to suggest we invite you and Jack."  
  
Jen was genuinely surprised. "She actually said that?"  
  
"Yeah, she did. Joey doesn't hate you, you know."  
  
"I doubt she likes me either…but that's not what's on my mind. How is she and Dawson?"  
  
"I just hate to see two people like them who deserve to be together, being pulled apart by circumstances like that."  
  
"And how about you?" she cautiously asked. "How have you been?"  
  
"I've had to adjust without Andie and it hasn't been easy." He sighed. "It feels different but I'm getting the hang of it," he honestly said. "She sounds so much better each time on the phone."  
  
"I'm glad."  
  
"So am I. She'll be home soon."  
  
They stopped walking and found themselves in front of a simple yet elegantly decorated restaurant.  
  
"Hey guys!" Pacey waited for Jack and Joey to catch up before asking, "How do you feel about Italian?"

* * *

"Joey, you can go sleep if you're tired."  
  
"Someone's got to keep you awake with those two-", she gestured toward the sleeping figures in the back seats, "-completely knocked out." She continued to fiddle with the radio dial, trying to find a station that wasn't so dull.  
  
"It's all right. If I get sleepy, I'll wake Jack up and he'll take over."  
  
"Pacey, just drive," Joey said, ignoring his suggestion.  
  
They were an hour's drive away from arriving back at Capeside and Pacey was at the wheel since Jack had driven most of the way to Boston.  
  
"I need a sip of water, Joey."  
  
She twisted the cap off a bottle of water and handed it to him. Taking his eyes off the road for a quick second, he gulped a mouthful of clear liquid and some of it dripped down his chin. He handed the bottle back.  
  
"That was some sip," she commented. "You're a real klutz."  
  
"Gee, thanks." Then, he wiped his chin with the back of his free hand and in turn, cleaned it on his shirt just to further irritate her.  
  
"That was the _Neanderthal_ way," he joked.  
  
She wrinkled her nose at him.  
  
He laughed but lowered his voice when he noticed Jen stirring in the rearview mirror. "Lighten up, Joey."  
  
"What do you think I've been doing so far this summer? It takes a lot to tolerate you," she said sarcastically.  
  
Pacey mockingly slapped the side of his head. "Oh! So that's what that was?" he exclaimed exaggeratedly.   
  
Joey tried to stifle the breath of air that would surely turn into a snort of laughter if she let it out.   
  
She failed.  
  
"Gotcha," he said triumphantly.  
  
"Just drive, Pacey. Just drive."  
  
  
_To be continued…  
Please send all comments and suggestions to: pacey@hockeymail.com_


	6. We Are Who We Are

**This Is When It All Began…****  
Chapter 6  
We Are Who We Are  
****by: Jade**

* * *

**Disclaimer****: _Dawson's Creek_ doesn't belong to me. That should be enough.  
  
Author's Note: In this one, the remaining four members of the group get competitive on a day of fun.   
  
Thanks to Erin aka SpookMuldy whose positive feedback has encouraged me to come up with ideas faster thus avoiding a bad case of writer's block **

* * *

  
Joey looked up from the classified ads when she heard Bessie walk into the living room. "There isn't a single job in here worth looking at," she complained, "and the summer's almost half-gone."  
  
"We'll just have to wait for something to come along then." Bessie hoped she sounded optimistic enough as she went into the kitchen and put on the kettle for a well-deserved cup of coffee after being kept awake by Alexander for the second night in a row. "What are your plans for today?" she asked, popping her head back into the living room.  
  
"I'll probably go into town and see if anyone needs hired help." She resumed skimming through the newspaper and didn't look up even when the telephone started to ring.  
  
"Hello?" she said distractedly.  
  
"Joey, it's Jen. Jack and I were wondering if you and Pacey wanted to go to the park for a game of touch football."  
  
"You've gotta be kidding," she replied, her tone unchanging.  
  
"Come on, it's such a beautiful day and it would be a waste not to spend it outdoors. Besides, my parents just sent me a camcorder, possibly out of guilt for not wanting me home, but who cares about that? Let's just go have some fun so I can flaunt someone's idea of compensation."  
  
"But why football?" she asked, finally looking up from her morning routine of looking for a job.  
  
"Remember that silly draw we entered at the mall in Boston? Well, Jack won a football."  
  
"You gotta be kidding."  
  
"Is that all you can say?"  
  
"No," she continued and remained silent.  
  
"Wow," Jen said, "you sure are talkative today."  
  
Joey let out a soft sigh. "I'm sorry." She looked around the house for an excuse to stay indoors but there was nothing to keep her there. "All right, I'll be there in an hour. Do you need me to bring anything?"  
  
"Just bring yourself."

* * *

Jen was right. It was a beautiful day. The breeze was perfect as it cooled the warm air to the right level but not too much so that it would interfere with the direction of their game.  
  
"Jack, watch out!"  
  
Jack heeded Joey's advice and saw Jen before she ambushed him from behind. He managed to throw the ball into the air before he was knocked to the ground.  
  
The ball sailed toward Joey and she caught it securely with two hands.  
  
"Nice throw, Jack!" Pacey shouted as the former struggled to rid himself of Jen's grip.   
  
"Thanks!" Jack replied. "Do you think you could ask your teammate to get off my back?"  
  
"I think she's managing fine." Pacey's eyes never left Joey as he imagined her mind hatching a plan to avoid his path to score a touchdown. "Yo, Joey! You're never going to get past 'The Great One'!"  
  
"Oh yes, I am, 'Your Delusional One'!" With that, she ran for the goal line, trying her best to escape Pacey's line of defense.   
  
She moved quickly but wasn't quite quick enough as he caught up to her and she felt his arms around her.  
  
"Ahhhh," she screamed as he lifted her off the ground, the ball still in her hands. "This isn't fair!" But she wasn't angry as he lifted her further off her feet and by the time Pacey fell backwards to the grass, pushed over by the weight in his arms, she had broken up in laughter.  
  
"Pacey, let go of me!"  
  
"Not until you give me the ball."  
  
"Not in this lifetime," she said as she struggled to stand up, with Pacey still holding on to her waist.  
  
Jack, by this time, had managed to free himself and was yelling at Joey to make the pass.  
  
"Joey!"  
  
She struggled some more and freed her waist from Pacey, who now held on to her ankle as a last resort. She tried running but he slowed her down.  
  
An elderly couple who had been watching them for quite awhile now and whom had volunteered to film them on Jen's camcorder, pointed at the comical sight of Joey dragging Pacey at her feet to their grandson and the trio started to laugh.  
  
Joey had to change her strategy. She wasn't going to get anywhere near Jack before Jen would get to him…not with the weight of a 150-pound guy chained to her ankle. With all the might she could muster in her arm, she flung the ball at Jack, who had begun running, with Jen hot on his heels.  
  
They all watched helplessly and it was up to Jack as he caught the ball effortlessly and ran the last few yards to make the touchdown.  
  
"Ah, ha!" Joey screeched in delight and Pacey finally let go. She ran to Jack and jumped into his ecstatic embrace. "We did it!"  
  
Jen had scrambled on her fours to lay by Pacey, who was sprawled on the grass, in utter defeat.   
  
"We suck," she said.  
  
"Not so fast," Pacey begged to differ.  
  
Arm-in-arm, Jack and Joey hovered over the losers of the game in glee.  
  
Pacey squinted against the sunlight to look at them and tried his best to be sporting about the whole thing.  
  
"Congratulations, but I bet we could beat you at something else."  
  
Joey snorted. "Trust you to refuse to admit defeat."  
  
"What, are you _scared_?" he taunted her.  
  
"Impressive. Such _big _words for a sore loser." She bent in closer to him and laid down her challenge. "You can pick a game, _any_ game and I guarantee I'll still win."  
  
"We. _We'll_ still win," Jack intercepted.  
  
"You're on," Pacey said.  
  
Jen moved her head to look at Pacey. "What _exactly_ is it that you're planning?"

* * *

The three of them leaned in closer to the table in Jen's living room as Pacey laid a box down.  
  
"Twister?" Joey looked at him. "You want us to play _Twister_?"  
  
"It's not too late to back out."  
  
"Not on your life," she said, opening the lid of the box. "We're going to win this. Right, Jack?"  
  
He gave her the thumbs-up.

***

_One hour later, and they're still at it…_  
  
Jack and Jen had withdrawn voluntarily from the game as their limbs were aching from twisting them in all sorts of directions.  
  
"Okay, Joey, right hand, red," Jack called out.  
  
Joey forced herself into an awkward position downwards, whereby her rear end was facing Pacey, who was grinning from ear-to-ear as he nodded with approval, at Jack.  
  
Jack raised his brow as silent advice to him not to risk the wrath of Joey.  
  
Their exchange did not go unnoticed by Joey, who warned calmly, "Don't enjoy the view too much, Witter."  
  
Jen, who had been recording the whole thing, put down the video camera and asked, "Why couldn't we have played Monopoly?"  
  
Pacey waved her question aside and signaled to Jack for his next instruction.  
  
"Right," the latter said, spinning the board. "Left foot, blue."  
  
Pacey maneuvered his leg high enough in order to cross over Joey without hitting her on the back but he overestimated his sense of balance at that point in time as he felt himself on the verge of falling. Reacting instinctively, he quickly moved his leg back to its original position, before he fell – right on top of Joey.  
  
"Ouch," she yelled, rubbing the back of her head where Pacey had hit his chin.  
  
"Aww," he echoed.  
  
Jack and Jen both grimaced.   
  
"You guys okay?"  
  
Pacey rolled off Joey, hand on his chin. "Still alive here."  
  
"No thanks to you," she muttered. Raising her voice, she said, daring Pacey to object. "I win this game."  
  
Oh, all right," he conceded unwillingly. He mulled over a thought and made the suggestion out loud.   
  
"What do you guys say about charades?"  
  
Their answer was clear as they began throwing potato chips at him.  
  
The assault was temporarily halted when Grams walked in.   
  
"What will you, young men and women, say to dinner here this evening?"  
  
"We'll say great, Mrs. Ryan. Thank you," Pacey answered and the rest, but Joey who hesitated, followed with similar reactions.  
  
Joey's silence didn't escape Jen. Standing up, she grabbed hold of Joey's hand and pulled her to her feet. "Come on, let's help out in the kitchen while the boys clear the living room."   
  
When they were safely tossing salad into a bowl, Jen jumped at the chance to talk to Joey.   
  
"So, Joey, I noticed you weren't too keen to stay. Do I still bug you or what?" she asked half-jokingly.  
  
Joey eyed her warily. "Do you care?" she answered with a question of her own dryly.  
  
"No, not really."   
  
The conversation ended as abruptly as it had started. They returned to safe ground once again – tossing salad.

* * *

The next morning started off the same as the previous morning.   
  
As Bessie grabbed her usual cup of coffee while she combed for a job, the phone rang.  
  
"I've just had the weirdest sense of deja-vu," she muttered. "Hello?" she said, cautiously into the receiver.  
  
"Joey, it's me."  
  
She frowned when she felt a slight tug at her heart, which could only by described as – delight? She was disturbed by the thought and that feeling of uneasiness was conveyed in the tone of her voice. "To what do I owe this honor?" she asked flatly.  
  
"I have something I need to talk to you about. You want to meet somewhere?"  
  
Joey thought he sounded nervous. Pacey, nervous around her? That was an anomaly in itself. Then she dismissed the idea. He was probably just up to something.  
  
"Can't you tell me over the phone?"  
  
"I'd rather not," he replied.  
  
Her suspicion was confirmed. "What is this about?"   
  
"Nothing!" he said defensively. "Gee, can't a friend ask another friend out for a drink _anymore_?"  
  
"All right!" she grumbled. "Don't get all teary-eyed on me. You can be such a _baby_ sometimes."  
  
"You too," he retorted. "Outside Screen Play Video, in fifteen. Don't be late." He hung up before she could say another word.  
  


*** 

She saw him fidgeting on the street and walked up to him, arms crossed. "Tell me what this is all about, Einstein, or I leave."  
  
He gestured for her to enter the store first while he followed closely behind. She proceeded with small steps, half-expecting someone to jump out and frighten the living daylights out of her. She made it to the counter and was still clueless until Nellie Olsen, the daughter of the owner of the place, chose to show her face.  
  
"Well, well, if it isn't Joey Potter."  
  
Joey turned to Pacey and her glare demanded a quick and thorough explanation, nothing less.  
  
"Well, you've been looking for a job, haven't you? I thought you might think about working here since there's a vacancy."  
  
"I would have preferred someone else but my father wants the position filled ASAP since Dawson Leery left without so much as a warning," Nellie said arrogantly. "If it were up to me, I wouldn't even have agreed to give you an interview."  
  
Pacey, standing behind Joey, tried to shut Nellie up by waving his arms frantically. His face fell when he saw Joey's shoulders stiffen.  
  
"To tell you the truth, I feel kind of sorry for you and your sister, with the Icehouse gone and your father back in jail. It's a tragedy, really," she went on, oblivious to Joey's silence or Pacey's hard stare.  
  
"I guess I should never take your word for it when you promise to be civil," he said angrily to his smug employer, who was smiling triumphantly. He wrapped his arm around Joey and turned her in the direction of the door, prepared to walk out of the store.  
  
But Joey's next words wiped the smirk right off.   
  
"When do I start?" she asked softly.  
  
"What?" Pacey asked, wondering if he'd heard wrong.  
  
Joey looked unflinchingly at the other girl. "When do I start? It's a simple question."  
  
Nellie narrowed her eyes and through thinned lips, she managed to say, "You'll work with Pacey the Loser here," before disappearing to the back in a huff.  
  
_One for the home team_, Joey thought.  
  
They walked back out into the daylight and Pacey tried to find the right words to say to her.  
  
"Joey-"  
  
"Pacey, I'm not made of glass. I won't break every time someone mentions Dawson, the Icehouse or my father. It's reality and I have to deal with it."  
  
"Still, I can't help but feel responsible for subjecting you to all that, for a job that you might not even have accepted."  
  
"But I did," she paused in her step. "And I would have, all over again. Nellie was desperate to be let off the hook and I knew it. I wouldn't have given her the satisfaction of seeing me upset if she was going to offer me the job anyway." Looking at him, she continued, "A job, by the way, I could use. Thanks."  
  
"Hey," he shrugged. "It was no skin off my nose."  
  
Slowly, her lips spread into a smile. "Did you see the look on her face?"  
  
Pacey laughed. "How could I miss it?" Holding on to her arm, he said, "Come on, let's go celebrate."  
  
  
_To be continued…  
Please send all comments and suggestions to: pacey@hockeymail.com_


	7. Liar, Liar

This Is When It All Began...  
Chapter 7  
Liar, Liar   
by: Jade 

* * *

**Disclaimer****: Just fanfic, just fanfic…  
  
Author's Note: A lot can happen during the summer. Just what are Pacey and Joey up to this time?  
I forgot to thank Rinny aka RinnyJJ, Maddie and Laura before, whose kind words about _This Is When It All Began_ has also been a tremendous encouragement. Thank you!**

* * *

  
"Look at these people," Pacey commented, standing up from the chair on which he had been sitting for the past hour, with his feet propped up on the counter, watching some B-grade horror movie. "Is it really that hot out there?"  
  
Joey, who had been leaning against the front counter, browsing through a magazine, looked up to see what he meant. Their shift had begun at ten this morning and as usual, business was slow until about half-an-hour ago when the heat had become somewhat unbearable and tourists were filing into the place, to escape from the weather and to enjoy a few minutes of blissful air conditioning.  
  
"Oh, my Goddess," he continued as he spotted an attractive and well-endowed brunette, who looked to be about ten years their senior, in the crowd.   
  
Joey narrowed her eyes. "Remember, your bizarre mother complex never got us anywhere good."  
  
"Hey, I was merely pointing out a beautiful woman," he responded. "I wasn't going to jump her or anything. There's no need to get testy."  
  
Joey raised her brow at his words and looked him up from head to toe. "Me, _testy_?" she scoffed. "You're one to talk, _lover-boy_," she added, with a deadpan expression.  
  
Pacey stared at her and kept a straight face for as long as he could. "Joey Potter, are _you _coming on to me?"  
  
She rolled her eyes heavenward. "You wish."  
  
"You know you are." He grinned. "Who can blame you?"  
  
Before she could think up a suitable retort, they were interrupted by a young but forceful voice.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
They took a timeout from arguing and turned toward the voice and saw a girl of about twelve years, with cute dimples and long, auburn hair pulled back neatly in a ponytail, with not a single strand out of place. She pushed her designer frames back up the bridge of her nose distractedly while gazing at Pacey.  
  
"May we help you?" Joey queried.  
  
Ignoring her, the little girl started smiling, showing off the little dents in her cheeks. "I'm Jessica. What's your name?"  
  
Pacey pointed to himself. She nodded.  
  
"I'm Pacey. What can I do for you?"  
  
"I think I like you," she replied. "You're cute."  
  
Joey snorted loudly. Pacey glared at her not-too-kindly.  
  
"Ignore her." He waved Joey aside and offered a handshake. "Well, hi Jessica, I'm glad to meet you."  
  
She smiled even wider until Joey cleared her throat loudly. Her face fell a little as she seemed annoyed and a tad disappointed. "Is she your girlfriend?" she asked Pacey.  
  
That resulted in a burst of spontaneous fake laughter and the duo shouted in unison, "No way!" That brought about a few turned heads in their direction.  
  
Like a makeover ad, the after-frown on Jessica's face disappeared and was replaced by her before-smile. She was about to bombard Pacey with more personal questions when she heard her mother calling.  
  
"Jessica, we have to go."  
  
She sighed loudly, her mouth forming a pout. "That's my mother." She took step by step backwards reluctantly. "She's going to scream her head off in about ten seconds if I don't leave. I don't exactly appreciate a scene."  
  
Pacey nodded in understanding and flashed his most charming grin. Joey just stared at him.  
  
Jessica ran the rest of the way out of the store shyly.  
  
"That was a stupid thing to do," Joey said.  
  
Pacey snickered. "Oh, lighten up! She's what, twelve years old? What harm could there be?"  
  
"Haven't you heard? Twelve-year-olds with six-figure trust funds are _lethal_ these days."  
  
"You know, Miss Cynic, it wasn't too long ago when we were still kids," he started, "sans the rich part, of course." Crossing his arms, he interrogated, "Haven't you _ever_ had a crush on someone older than yourself and fantasized they would return that affection, in some small way?"  
  
"I just think that it's not always best to offer illusions even if they _do _make you feel better about yourself because eventually, people get hurt."  
  
"Joey, she may be loaded with cash but she's still only a child. Andie's taught me things aren't always what they seem." He shook his head. "How can I ever change your view of the world?"  
  
"Simple," she shrugged. "You can't."

* * *

"Uh oh," she muttered under her breath, not in the least surprised as she spotted the bobbing of a head of auburn hair from the store window.   
  
"Pacey!" she called out. "There's someone here to see you."  
  
He walked out to the front. "What?"  
  
Grabbing the tapes out of his hands, she indicated she was going to take over his duty in the back. "You have company," she gestured toward the entrance with her head and walked off quickly, leaving him to deal with the approaching customer.  
  
Sure enough, Jessica was back.  
  
"Hi, Pacey," she greeted, barely containing her excitement. A boy, around Pacey's age followed soon after, complaining audibly.  
  
"You dragged me out of bed to drive you to a video store? Just what is _so _attractive about this place?"  
  
"Oh quit whining, Matthew!" Jessica blushed, slightly embarrassed by his words. "Pacey, meet my incorrigible brother, Matt. Matt, this is Pacey."  
  
"Ah, incorrigible. We belong to the same family then," Pacey joked.   
  
Matt stared at him with disdain. Dismissing the latter, he viewed his surroundings as though they weren't worthy of his privileged background.  
  
_Oh great, a guy who thinks he's too good for common people like us_, he thought and immediately concluded that he didn't like Matthew immensely.  
  
"What can I do for you today, Jessica?" he asked, pointedly ignoring her brother.  
  
"We can't stay long but I was hoping I could buy you a soda when you got off work and we could talk."  
  
Pacey was caught off-guard by her directness. He foresaw trouble as clearly as he now knew Joey had been right all along. With much difficulty, he tried to think of how to soften the blow of his rejection. The solution hit him: he had to lie.  
  
"Jessica, I would love to but I can't. Company policy doesn't permit us to socialize with customers outside of work. I'm real sorry."  
  
"But I _can't_ be considered a customer. I haven't rented anything," she reasoned.  
  
Pacey couldn't argue with that. _Think, man. And fast.  
_  
"Erm, well, you see…"  
  
He would never attribute the virtue of perfect timing upon Joey but there she was, intervening at the right moment. He had never been more grateful to her.  
  
"Pacey, where did you put the second stack of tapes that came in yesterday?" she asked, studying a clipboard in her hand.  
  
Matt who had wandered off to the section of new releases nearer to the exit out of boredom, looked up when he heard a new voice. He was bowled over by what he saw.  
  
"I am beginning to see the attraction of this place."  
  
"Huh?" Joey frowned as she heard no answer to her question but instead a strange voice. "What?" she added, losing her train of thought.  
  
A boy who bore an uncanny resemblance to last season's quarterback on the Capeside High football team, Cliff Elliot, practically launched forward to greet her. She moved one step back instinctively.  
  
"Hey there, my name's Matt. And you are…?"  
  
"Not interested," she answered, without so much as a reaction.  
  
Pacey almost sniggered when she said it but he controlled the urge to, while noticing the directness that ran in the family. _Well, like sister, like brother_.  
  
Matt seemed hardly put off by Joey's hostility. In fact, he appeared to be even more determined and insistent.   
  
"Joey Potter," he read off her name tag. "You're far too pretty to be working behind a counter all day. How about joining my cousins and I for some fun tonight? We're throwing a party by the beach and we'd love it if you came."  
  
_Obnoxious jerk_, Pacey thought.  
  
Not in the least impressed by his flattery, she didn't even try to force an outward appearance of sunny disposition.  
  
"Thanks for asking but I'm otherwise occupied tonight."  
  
"How about you, Pacey?" Jessica interrupted. "You could come, couldn't you?"  
  
"Well," he stalled, looking to Joey for salvation. She just gave him a look that said 'I told you so'. He decided he would tell Jessica about Andie and was about to when he was interrupted.  
  
"Come on, Joey, it's not like you have a boyfriend…to hold you back," Matt allowed his voice to drift off as he observed Joey's reaction. Without thinking, her face changed and he knew he had hit the nail right on the head.  
  
"So, you've just broken off with someone," he said, pleased with the idea that she was single.  
  
Pacey was gradually getting pissed off with his attitude. "Hey, that's enough! She doesn't want to go and that's that."  
  
"Pacey," Matt practically spat out his name. "I'm sure Joey can speak for herself."  
  
Regaining her composure, she was now infuriated. "Well then, she said, "you might try being a little more polite-," she took a deep breath and realized that there was a way to get rid of both their problems but only if Pacey played along.  
  
"-to my _boyfriend_," she finished.  
  
Pacey thought he had heard wrong and turned around, thinking there was someone else behind him. Under different circumstances, Joey would have laughed out loud at his confusion but this could be saved for later. Right now, they had a part to play.  
  
"Boyfriend? What boyfriend?" Matt asked.  
  
Jessica caught on a little faster than the rest of them. She stamped her foot and glared at Pacey accusingly. "You told me she wasn't your girlfriend!"  
  
Pacey didn't know how to defend himself. He remained speechless and confused.  
  
"Technically, she said to Jessica, "it was true. Until last night, that is."  
  
"What happened last night?" Matt demanded to know.  
  
"We had an argument at the beginning of summer and decided to remain friends. But yesterday, I realized just how much I still -," she paused, trying to swallow past the lump in her throat and the distaste in her mouth, "- _loved _him. And he felt the same way, so we made up." She grabbed his hand. "Right sweetie?"  
  
By this time, Pacey had caught on and was intrigued by the way Joey's mind worked. He reached out his free hand to tuck her hair behind her ear and made the motion of kissing her near the ear but in reality, he was whispering.   
  
"That's _not_ the only thing we made up."  
  
Joey squeezed his hand and stepped on his foot simultaneously. Pacey resisted the urge to scream in pain and push her away. Instead, he grimaced and turned it into a forced smile.  
  
"Right, sweetie," he agreed. She lifted her foot off his and he breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
"We're always fighting," Joey continued. "But it helps to keep the love alive."  
  
"Oh, I'm sure it does," Pacey muttered.  
  
Joey gritted her teeth. "What did you say, baby?"  
  
"I said what I feel is _true_ love."  
  
"Oh, I'm _sure_ it is," Matt mocked. He leaned toward Joey again and flashed his pearly whites. "If you ever get bored, just ask for the Bradleys. We'll be around for awhile." Turning to his sister, whose face had turned the color of beetroot, he beckoned her to follow him. "Come on, Jessica. Let's go." She needed no persuading as she stormed out.  
  
Pacey brought his hand up in a careless wave. "Good-bye," he called out awkwardly. When they were out of earshot, he began to chant. "Liar, liar, pants on fire."  
  
Joey took a deep breath and bestowed a glare upon him.  
  
He wasn't intimidated. "Now what, sweet pea?" he asked.

* * *

  
_To be continued…  
Please leave all comments and suggestions to: pacey@hockeymail.com_

_

* * *

_


	8. Gossip

This Is When It All Began...  
Chapter 8  
Gossip   
by: Jade 

* * *

**Disclaimer****: As before.  
  
Author's Note: I didn't plan this installment in advance and simply typed as I allowed the ideas to flow. It turns out this one takes a slightly different turn from my usually light-humored ones. **

**Short summary: What exactly does Jen see that the others don't? **

* * *

Jen sat in her living room, munching on an apple, while Jack pushed the tape into the player and turned on the television set.   
  
He settled himself beside her on the couch and with remote in his hand, lifted and pointed, thumb poised on the Play button.  
  
The tape began rolling.   
  
They started badgering each other as they watched themselves on TV, running about the park like mad men, chasing after a football.  
  
"You cheated," Jack pointed out, hand in the air.  
  
"So did you!" she said, slapping him on the wrist. "Shush, I want to watch."  
  
They continued to do so in silence, smiles on their faces.   
  
As the tape played on, Jen became more engrossed and the half-eaten apple lay forgotten in her hand. Her smile slowly disappeared from her face and was replaced by astonishment. _Why didn't I see it before_,she asked herself. Looking cautiously at Jack, she wondered if he had noticed.  
  
Clearing her throat, she got his attention. "Jack, do you see anything _different_, maybe even _weird_?"  
  
He looked at her as if she was strangely paranoid. "No, do _you_?"   
  
_At least, he can't tell_. "Nah, it's nothing," she explained and returned to eating her apple. _I can't believe it_, she thought, eyes on the screen. _But I'm seeing it for myself_.

* * *

"Hey, Jen!"  
  
She turned around when she heard a voice calling her name.   
  
"Chris," she said to the figure who had jogged up to her side. "It's been awhile."  
  
"Yes, it has," he agreed. They started walking and Chris didn't offer to begin a conversation so Jen decided not to say anything as well.   
  
Finally, he broke the quiet. "I'm sorry about Abby."  
  
She stopped in her step suddenly and blinked several times at the ground before meeting his eyes. "I'm sorry too."  
  
He nodded and she bobbed her head awkwardly.  
  
"I kinda miss her antics," he confessed. "I was constantly wondering what she was up to. Remember the time she…"  
  
Jen listened as he re-enacted a scene and laughed as he finished off his act with a wild gesture. "There'll never be another Abby," she said.  
  
"No, there won't be." His laughter faded and came to a complete halt. "Look, I'll be honest with you. There was something I wanted to talk to you about."  
  
She motioned that they should sit down.  
  
"I'll get straight to the point. I don't know your friends very well, but I've been hearing this rumor that could be termed a little disturbing."  
  
"Continue."  
  
"Jason Euston's cousin, Matthew Bradley, is in town and he's been telling everyone that Pacey Witter and Joey Potter have some sort of a thing going."  
  
"Pacey and Joey?" She shook her head. "There must be a mistake," she said but inside, she was very much inclined to believe that it was indeed, possible._  
_  
"That's what I thought at first and then I bumped into Jason and his cousin and I heard it from the horse's mouth." He took a breath of air before continuing. "Matthew Bradley has vowed to steal Joey Potter from her loser of a boyfriend, his words not mine, and close the deal, so to speak, before the end of next week."  
  
"Should I even ask?"  
  
"That's when he leaves," he explained.  
  
Jen took a moment to ponder over his words. When that had sunk in, she questioned no one in particular. "Are you all like that?"  
  
Chris didn't bother to ask what she had meant. "It wasn't that way with us. You knew what was coming," he answered, referring to the night they were supposed to have been studying for Mr. Peterson's test at his house, and probably many incidents that occurred thereafter as well.   
  
"Yeah, I did, didn't I?" she mumbled. Retreating into her thoughts, she absently ran a hand through her hair.   
  
"I'm not trying to be a Samaritan but Bradley is bad news. I just thought I'd let you know."  
  
She brought her hands to the level of her mouth and bit the nail on her left thumb. It was an annoying trait she sometimes had. "Believe me, if anyone's strong-willed, it's Joey. She's not going to fall for his charm."  
  
"That's not what I'm afraid of."  
  
"What are you saying, Chris?"  
  
The look on his face told him all she needed to know.   
  
She was caught off-guard. "Rape?" she finally managed to whisper.  
  
"Allegedly. I can't be sure," he replied, truthfully. "But just tell her to be careful."  
  
She nodded. "I will talk to her."  
  
Chris picked up his knapsack and stood up, indicating he was going to leave. He hesitated a second before leaning down to kiss her on the cheek. He surprised Jen and even himself. Smiling, he told her, "Take care, Jen Lindley."   
  
He hadn't walked very far before she called him back. "Will I see you in the fall?"  
  
He looked back and she could see a face filled with regret.   
  
"We're moving to San Diego. My grandmother just passed away."   
  
"I'm sorry." She didn't know what else to say.  
  
"So am I." He gave a half-wave, straightened his knapsack and walked on without looking back again.

* * *

"Joey, I'll come straight to the point. Are you and Pacey a couple?"  
  
She paused in the middle of her task when Jen walked into the store and cut to the chase as to why she was there.  
  
"Who would bother going around telling people about this?" Joey stopped cleaning the doors altogether and took off her gloves. "No, wait. I retract that question and ask instead-", she said, picking up her cleaning materials. "Why the hell would anyone be interested anyway?"  
  
"I'm not trying to pry, Joey," she told the latter's moving back until it briskly disappeared in between rows of shelves behind the staff area. Joey was going about her chore on her knees at the dirty woodwork located at the bottom. Jen stretched her stomach across the counter top so that she could see the latter. "I'm serious. I met Chris Wolfe and he told me about Matthew Bradley."  
  
"Matthew Bradley, that jackass?" a male voice interrupted. Pacey had just walked in and proceeded to place a plastic cup of coffee on the shelf above Joey's head. "What's this about?"  
  
"You tell me," she said to him. "What's this I hear about you and Joey?"  
  
He took a sip from his cup. "It's spreading, I see."  
  
Joey resisted the urge to kick him in the shin and instead, let out a growl of frustration and disappeared further back into the shelves of videos.  
  
Pacey grinned and turned his attention to Jen. Seeing her grimness, his facial expression changed. "This seems important."  
  
"It is."  
  
"Joey just made up the story to get rid of Bradley and his sister. It's no big deal."  
  
"Pacey," she started, "Chris thinks that Bradley might have broken some laws back where he came from."  
  
"And…?"  
  
"Rape happened to be one of them," she finished.  
  
Pacey removed the cup from his mouth. "What?"  
  
Joey had dropped the cloth in her hand when she heard Jen's words. There was a further silence as the three of them delved into what should be said next.  
  
"Bradley is bragging to everyone that he'll steal Joey from you by the end of next week. This is no laughing matter."  
  
"I'm not laughing," Pacey replied.  
  
"I am," Joey said, emerging from her cocoon. She threw the cloth aside and hands on her hips, she told them, "This is obviously some rich kid's idea of a joke. He wouldn't dare try anything. All this is just unsubstantiated gossip."  
  
"I'm not so sure," Jen said.  
  
Pacey followed on with uncertainty. "Jen, can you trust what you heard?"  
  
"Come on! How many times have you heard dozens of guys like him say these things to make themselves look macho in front of their friends? I'm telling you, it's nothing!"   
  
Joey's insistence was not catching on.  
  
Pacey stared at her uneasily.  
  
She helplessly threw her hands in the air. "How much can you trust a person like Chris Wolfe?"  
  
"I believed him," Jen confidently told her.  
  
"Yeah, you would."  
  
"Joey, that was completely uncalled for," Pacey chipped in, at the same instant Joey realized she had gone too far.  
  
"I'm sorry, Jen."  
  
The fury on the latter's face relented to a calmer look and this time, she directed her comments to Pacey only. "I was hoping that the rumor about you two was true so you could watch her back. Just be really careful, okay?" She put her hand on his arm and squeezed it slightly before taking her leave.  
  
"Oh, Jen!" Joey called out but the latter had already made her way out or simply pretended not to hear.   
  
"You deserved it," he said without qualm.  
  
"I really didn't mean to, okay?"  
  
Pacey didn't seem to have heard her as he was more pre-occupied with what Jen had just told them. He knew that big talk amongst the rich kids was common but he also knew Jen Lindley wouldn't have come to them if she didn't have viable suspicions.   
  
"Let's concentrate on the present situation. You're not to be out of my sight unless you're at home or some place safe or with somebody you trust."  
  
"Whoa," she protested. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves here. I _don't_ need anyone to protect me. I can take care of myself."  
  
"I've got a strange feeling about this one, so this is what I have to say to you." He held her by the shoulders and looked her straight in the eye. "Shut up for once and just do what I say, all right?"  
  
She pushed his hands aside and winced in exaggerated pain. "Look _Superman_. Are you sure you are not feeling strange because your underwear's on too tight?"   
  
He let go of her and she stumbled slightly at the sudden lack of pressure.   
  
"I've said it before and I'll say it again. I'll be fine!"  
  
He ignored her, sat himself down and proceeded to open his magazine. "You hear someone screaming her head off in here?" he asked nonchalantly.  
  
She walked around the obstacle of the counter to stand in front of him. "It's time to make good my threat. I'm _definitely_ going to kill you in your sleep one night. I think I'll make it a screwdriver to your temple." Then she left in a huff.  
  
"Joey, come back!" He scrambled off his stool and ran after her. Standing in the doorway of the store, he was torn between leaving it unattended or going after her since he decided on their new policy of her not leaving his sight. He needn't worry as he saw her walking back.   
  
Pushing past him, she muttered something unintelligible as she realized she really had nowhere else to go.  
  
He breathed a huge sigh of relief. He felt more than a little ridiculous as he wondered if perhaps, all this was just a little too dramatic for his taste and he and Jen were really just being paranoid. Then he shook his head rapidly as if to quash what he had been thinking. _It's much better to be paranoid than sorry in the end_._ After all, it's only two weeks._ And fortunately enough, the thought of spending time with Joey didn't appear to be a repellent, in spite of how much of a pain in the ass she was.

* * *

"Kiss me."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"The song," he added, pointing toward the speakers from which music was blaring, while he took a quick swipe at his cone before any of it dripped onto his hand. "Catchy tune."  
  
She looked blankly at him and was jarred out of it when she was handed her mocha-flavored single scoop.  
  
"Something's on your mind," he observed. They walked out of the ice-cream parlor and were immediately enveloped into the heat. "Anything I should know about?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"What is the matter with-" He stopped walking. "Has Bradley been harassing you?"  
  
She let out the breath of air she had been holding. "No," came her reply.  
  
"So?"   
  
He waited to no avail.   
  
"Spill it," he finally said.  
  
Still nothing.  
  
Pacey gave up pressing her for an answer. They soon found themselves by the docks, watching fishermen at work.  
  
She threw away the remains of her melted snack and he followed suit. She moved up to the railing and closed her eyes against what little of the wind was blowing their way.  
  
"Dawson wrote me."  
  
He had come up to stand beside her.   
  
"I got an e-mail from him yesterday. He sent me a second one immediately after, telling me that he had made a huge mistake by writing in the first place and told me not to read it, if I hadn't already." She laughed humorlessly. "I didn't, not until this morning."  
  
Turning to his side, he looked at her worriedly.  
  
She looked right back and spoke before he could get a word in. "He's hurting and he's angry but he wanted to know if we could work things out." Concentrating on an imaginary spot beyond him, she continued, "You feel caught in the middle of all this."  
  
On his part, it was needless to say.  
  
"I wouldn't want you to tear your fingernails out for relief if you hear another word about me and Dawson."  
  
He wrinkled his brows in puzzlement. Slowly, it dawned on him that he had made the comment once. "He mentioned it, huh?"  
  
Despite the solemn atmosphere surrounding their conversation, she couldn't help but smile, although it never quite reached her eyes.  
  
"Talk to me," he insisted. "The truth."   
  
"The facts are the truth." She turned around, her back toward the ocean and the breeze. "The fact is I love him but I can't seem to bring myself to forgive him. The fact is he's angry at me for pushing him away-"  
  
"The two of you can find a way around this."  
  
She went on as though she hadn't heard a word he had said. "The fact is we always seem to end up hurting each other. The fact is we may not be as right for each other as we thought."  
  
Her voice had a tone of resignation and dejection that he had never encountered before in her.   
  
"The fact is," she said looking back at the waters, "being apart may be the best thing that's happened to us in a long time. Helps clear the head." Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath of fresh air and let it out silently.  
  
He understood completely that the time wasn't right for her and Dawson, just like it wasn't for Andie and him. Rationalizing didn't always make things easier though.

"But not the heart," he finally said.  
  
At that, she opened her eyes and within seconds, she felt them well up with tears. She refused to let them drop.  
  
Pacey looked the other way, allowing her the privacy she needed to regain her composure.  
  
Both of them remained in this position some time after the noise from the docks had begun to die down and the sun began to embark on its descent for the day.__

_

* * *

_

_  
To be continued…  
Please send all comments and suggestions to: pacey@hockeymail.com_

* * *


	9. Just Friends, I Promise

This Is When It All Began…  
Chapter 9  
Just Friends, I Promise  
by: Jade 

* * *

**Disclaimer****: _Dawson's Creek_ was created by Kevin Williamson.  
  
Author's Note: I don't say it enough at all - Holly, you're the best! This one's dedicated to you.  
  
Summary: The full moon's the source of more bizarre behavior…or is it really? Both Pacey and Joey are experiencing emotional turmoil and an affinity to tell the truth, neither of which they can quite understand nor explain. **

* * *

He watched her despondent figure trudge up the stairs to her house, dragging her feet with what little energy she had left.  
  
When she was safely inside, he started to make his way home as the big, round moon seemed to prance along in the sky with him. He wanted to hold her and offer her a shoulder to cry on but he knew she wouldn't have been ready to accept that from him.  
  
He had promised her he wouldn't tell Dawson that she had read his letter. There had to be something else he could do.  
  
"Pacey," his mother's voice rang out as he closed the front door behind him. "Andie called."  
  
"Shit," he muttered, bringing his palm to his forehead. "I forgot about it. What did she say, Mom?"  
  
The latter walked out from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dish towel. "She seemed disappointed that you weren't home to take the call and a little preoccupied. It sounded like she had something important to talk to you about."  
  
"Good going, Pace," he berated himself.  
  
"She said she'd call back tomorrow. Maybe you should stay home."  
  
"I will. Goodnight, Mom," he said before going up the stairs, two at a time.  
  
Once he was safely in the confines of his own room, he collapsed onto his bed, smacked a pillow over his head and screamed into it.  
  
_Why won't that feeling leave him alone?_

_

* * *

_

He faded in and out of his dreams, back and forth in a restless sleep. Even in between fits of reality, he kept seeing Joey's face but he knew he was hallucinating…  
  
So it was quite a bit of a shock when he opened his eyes and saw her looming above him, each leg on either side of his, approaching with what looked like a screwdriver in her hand.  
  
_All right_, he told himself. _If this is a figment of my imagination, I must have one **hell **of an imagination.  
  
_"Ahh-" he began to scream but was immediately stopped by a hand to his mouth.  
  
"Shhhhhhh," Joey said.   
  
_Okay, so now it's **talking **to me. I amgoing mad.  
  
_It was only when he pinched himself, felt the pain and then pinched her on the arm and got a reaction as she moved her hand away, that he began to understand.  
  
"What the hell are you doing here?" he hissed. "And were you trying tomake a hole in my head?"  
  
She made a face at him and continued to rub the sore spot on her arm. She moved her legs to one side, swung over and landed in position beside him on the bed. It moved, fully waking him from his sleepy state.   
  
Wordlessly, she handed him a pencil.  
  
Eyeing it, he took it cautiously from her. It wasn't a screwdriver, but anything within Joey's grasp seemed dangerous at that point in time.  
  
Staring into the ceiling, she spoke monotonously. "I had to get out of the house."  
  
"And you thought you'd try to kill me while you were at it." He scrambled off the bed and put the pencil back in the holder on the desk. It was then he realized that he had fallen asleep in the clothes he had been in all day. Glancing at his clock, he asked, "How did you get in anyway?" It was a quarter till midnight.  
  
"The only thing I'm good at nowadays." She sat up and pushed herself to the edge of the bed where her feet could dangle. "I came in through the window."  
  
Leaning against his desk, he crossed his arms and waited.  
  
"I did warn you I'd bring a screwdriver to your temple one night in your sleep. It so happened I felt like doing it tonight."  
  
"Joey," he sighed, crossing the room to sit by her. "You drop by in the middle of the night. You scared me shitless. You've made your point. Now, are you ready to tell me what else brought you here?"  
  
She was looking down at the floor in dead silence. And then her façade broke down and she started to cry. "God, I hate you."  
  
He wrapped his arms around her and rocked her. "Good, because I hate you too."  
  
Between sniffles, she managed to say into his now, damp shirt, "I-I needed to talk to someone and all I could think of w-was you."  
  
He kissed the top of her head. "I agree. That completely sucks."  
  
She laughed in the middle of a sob and it came out as a snort.   
  
He cracked up. "Please don't wipe your nose on my shirt. It's one of my favorites," he joked.  
  
She pushed him away and grabbed a tissue from a box in sight.  
  
He waited for her to blow her nose and pointed out the wastebasket.   
  
"It hasn't been that long since I visited, you know."  
  
"Six years, Jo. Six years."  
  
"Really?" she grudgingly asked.  
  
He looked at her as though it was needless to say.   
  
"Whatever happened to us?" she questioned. "You know, as friends?"  
  
"Nothing." He shrugged. "I was just never Dawson."  
  
He said it without a thought and in such a nonchalant manner that Joey was taken aback and even a little disappointed. She leaned in to observe more closely, trying to decipher the look in his eyes. She could detect nothing.   
  
Nothing that he wanted to give away, that is.

* * *

She went on all-fours and grabbed the dice from under the bed. "This one's a six," she said. "That makes it eleven. Answer the question, Witter."  
  
"Joey, it's two-thirty in the morning-"  
  
"Answer the question."  
  
He rubbed his tired eyes and tried to come up with an impressive lie but his brain was too exhausted to work and he found himself about to break.  
  
"All right. I got the scar on my cheek at summer camp before the start of sixth grade when I tried to impress some girls by swinging from one branch of a tree to another. And I fell, okay? Happy now?"  
  
She grinned.  
  
He shook his head in despair. Joey had suggested that they take turns to ask each other personal questions and then throw the dice and if both added up to an odd number, the question would have to be answered truthfully. If the number was even, the person was spared. They had been playing for half an hour and he had got only two answers out of her - nothing that he didn't already know or could have easily guessed.   
  
His luck was drastically failing him and he was hardly taking the game seriously. He shouldn't have agreed to the stupid thing in the first place.   
  
She handed him the dice. "Why this game?" he asked and he flung them out.  
  
Nine.  
  
She couldn't get out of this one even if she tried. "Because I've come to the realization that I don't know you as well as I thought I did. In fact, I don't think I know you at all. And this game's not going to change that overnight but it's a start to finding out."  
  
Honesty from Joey, to _him_**,** was always a surprise. He had nothing concrete to contribute to her answer.  
  
"I thought you were just being an annoying busybody."  
  
"Sorry to disappoint you," she replied. She rolled the dice in her hand back and forth. "Okay, I'll give you an easy one this time. Who was the _first _girl you ever had a crush on?"  
  
"Wa-"  
  
He couldn't stop her from producing an odd three.  
  
She knew the answer even before she asked it. It was simple: Kristy Livingstone. Either that, or some girl he knew back in his old hometown. But she was willing to bet it was the former.  
  
Pacey started to fidget. It was apparent that he felt very uncomfortable.  
  
"What?" she questioned. "This one's a given."  
  
"You _really_ don't want to know this, Joey," he stressed.  
  
She wrinkled her brows in puzzlement. "Come on, even if it were someone who was horrendously ugly, it's been so long." She scooted closer to him. "I'll forgive you," she teased.  
  
He looked back worriedly at her. The striations of blue in his eyes seemed to stand out as he hesitated once more before he formed the words.   
  
"Josephine Potter."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"It was you, Joey."  
  
She swallowed visibly. "Haha, very funny."  
  
"What can I say?" He shrugged. "I could have lied but now that I know this game is far more important to you than I thought it was at the beginning, I didn't want to."  
  
She blinked at him.  
  
"Don't get so worked up," he reached over to smack her arm lightly. "After all, it _was_ a long time ago."  
  
"You're right," she managed to say. "You really caught me off-guard there for a moment but I'm okay now."  
  
They eyed each other in silence.   
  
Pacey interrupted eye contact by swinging the dice. "Tell me, Magic Numbers, could Joey Potter ever love anyone else the way she loves Dawson Leery?"  
  
Seven.  
  
The look on her face was a contortion of different feelings. She was irate at Pacey for surprising her with the truth after so many years and she was bothered that he had asked his question. And then she was peeved at him because he fully expected her to reply resoundingly in the negative. He had put her in a spot. But above what little anger she really possessed, she was torn with doubt. Because as she thought about the months gone by, the months not spent with Dawson, she finally admitted to herself that she wasn't ready to say no.  
  
"You don't want to know, Pacey," was what she said.  
  
He fully regretted asking because he hadn't been sure he wanted to know. A buzzer went off loudly in his head. _Wrong answer, Joey. Wrong answer. You should have said no._

* * *

"Pacey!"  
  
Someone was screaming his name from a distance away. _What, was it Saturday already?_ Saturday was his family's day to bond, in other words, the one day of the week they designated to yelling at each other.  
  
He found himself sitting on the floor, leaning against the foot of the bed, with his neck stretched backwards and his head resting on the mattress. His mouth had been wide open and he now brought his jaw back to it when he heard his mother yelling at him again.  
  
"W-wh-wha?" he mumbled, half blinded by the sunlight streaming in through the window.  
  
He tried to move his arm but it was pinned down across his lap by a weight. Looking down through half-opened eyes, he saw a head of brown hair.  
  
"O-ouch." His neck was stiff from being in the same position for the past five hours and it ached to shift his head from side to side. With his free arm, he shook the sleeping figure on the shoulder.   
  
"Jo, get up," he croaked. His voice was husky as it usually was in the morning.  
  
She moved from sleeping on her side to her back, allowing Pacey to look her fully in the face. Her eyes were closed and her mouth was slightly opened as she breathed out through the gap.  
  
In spite of his disheveled state, the strangeness and the novelty of the situation had to make him chuckle. _She did look lovely even-_  
  
"Pacey, Andie's-" his mother paused as she opened the door to find the two of them in their current positions. "-on the line," she finished. "Is there something I should know about?"  
  
Pacey gently lifted Joey's head off his lap and onto the floor. "It's not what it looks like, Mom." He struggled to stand up. "We'll talk outside," he spoke softly.  
  
"You bet we are," she replied.  
  
Joey roused from her sleep as she heard a door closing and the sound of muffled voices speaking behind it. She opened her eyes and adjusted them to the sunlight. She found herself in an unfamiliar room.   
  
_Where am I?_   
  
Pushing herself into a sitting position with the palms of her hands as support, she took in the posters on the walls and she recalled.   
  
She groggily got on her feet and walked to the door. Opening it just a pinch, she peeked out and heard Pacey talking on the phone further down the hallway.  
  
"Yes, you heard my mother right. Joey's here."  
  
He paused to listen to the other party.  
  
"She was upset about her problems with Dawson and she needed someone-"  
  
She had heard enough. Quietly, she closed the door. Looking around, she was contemplating exiting from where she had entered but ran out of time when Mrs. Witter softly knocked and walked in.   
  
"Joey, what a lovely surprise to find you here. You haven't been here since you were a kid."  
  
All she could do was nod as the latter started making Pacey's bed and picking up his dirty laundry off the floor.  
  
"When did you get in? I didn't hear the doorbell."  
  
"Errr, around midnight. I came in through the window."  
  
Margaret Witter regarded her quizzically but didn't say anything more about it. "Well, breakfast is ready downstairs. Why don't you go wash up and we'll talk more later."  
  
Joey nodded again. She breathed a sigh of relief when she was left alone. _This is way too surreal._  
  
She caught fragments of Pacey's conversation as she walked out of the room toward the bathroom at the other end of the hallway.  
  
"Andie, is something wrong?"  
  
Pause.  
  
"I miss you too. I love you."  
  
She rushed into the bathroom and closed the door quietly behind her. She felt like an eavesdropper, intruding upon someone's profession of undying affection for his one true love. Shaking her head rapidly, she tried to ignore the sarcasm that came along with that last thought.  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you, Potter,"she reproached softly.

*****

"Hey!"   
  
She walked right into him, both of them having rounded a corner from different directions at the same time. She, having used the bathroom and he, the telephone.  
  
She held on to him for dear life as he steadied her. "You okay?"  
  
"You seem to be directing that a lot to me recently."   
  
"All right, I'll try to tone it down."  
  
"Kids, breakfast's on the table," his mother called out.  
  
"Come on," he said, wrapping his arm around her as if everything was normal, as it should be.  
  
_Normal_, the voice screamed inside of her. _How could he act like he hadn't said what he said?  
  
_"Okay, we're going to make our way downstairs now. Watch your step."   
  
She shot him a sarcastic glance but he was regarding her with real concern masked beneath the condescending remark.  
  
_Get a grip, Joey. You're making a mountain out of a molehill. It meant nothing to him and that's why he said it so that he could totally forget about it._  
  
She was so preoccupied, she hasn't anticipated the problem that would greet her at the dining table once they got there.  
  
John Witter was sitting at the head of the table.  
  
Pacey looked from her to the latter and back again. He shut his eyes as it hit him. "Shit," he muttered under his breath. He found himself cursing more in the summer than he had in the entire school year.  
  
A confrontation with the man who sent her father to prison wasn't exactly what she was looking for right now but she wasn't about to turn on her heels and run out of the house either.  
  
"Morning, Mr. Witter." She hoped that no one noticed the tremor in her voice as she said it.  
  
"Morning, Joey," John Witter replied awkwardly. If it was possible, he appeared even more ill at ease than she was.  
  
The tension was mounting and Pacey considered ushering her away from the table after making some lamer of an excuse but Joey moved forward and took a seat before he could open his mouth.  
  
Following her cue, he sat down as well, taking the chair that separated the two of them.   
  
"Morning, Pop."  
  
The relationship between father and son wasn't smooth sailing either even though some of the bumps along the way had been flattened out by newfound understanding of each other. Still, Pacey got the odd feeling now and then that his father was holding back, which in turn, prevented himself from pouring his heart out.   
  
John started to say something to Joey but then changed his mind. He stood up and brushed the crumbs off his pants. "I-I gotta get to work. It was nice seeing you again, Joey."  
  
"Likewise," she answered in a quiet voice. Inwardly, she was heaving a huge sigh of relief.  
  
He took his leave and they were left alone once more.  
  
"I'm _so_ sorry," Pacey turned to say to her. "I wasn't thinking."  
  
She waved his apology aside. "I'm fine." She started buttering her toast and added cheerfully. "Let's eat, I'm starving."  
  
He was hardly deceived by her bravado.

***** 

  
"Have you called Bessie?" he asked, coming down the front steps where she was sitting.  
  
"Yeah," she said, taking a mug of hot chocolate they had left to cool earlier, from him. "She knows I'm here."  
  
Settling a few steps above her, holding his own mug, he leaned back on one elbow and stretched his legs out.  
  
"I'm really sorry about what happened with my Dad."  
  
"Pacey, I don't think you should be worrying about me."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"How's Andie?"  
  
"She tells me everything's fine."  
  
Joey didn't have to look into his face to note his doubt. "But you don't think so?"  
  
"I'm probably just being overly sensitive, as you've so kindly informed me," he pointed out. "My instincts are usually right, but they always turn out to be bad news." He took a sip. "Maybe deep inside, I don't want to know."  
  
He had only a side view of her as she nodded in agreement. What he couldn't see was her increasingly troubled expression that sent creases around her eyes.  
  
Her next words were spoken so softly, he had to ask her to repeat herself.  
  
"Say what?"  
  
"I've thought about it. The answer's no." She turned around to look at him. "I could never love anyone else as much as I love Dawson."  
  
He couldn't put together a coherent sentence fast enough before she handed him her half-empty mug and got to her feet.  
  
"Thanks for everything. I appreciate it."  
  
She smiled and then she was gone.  
  
Joey Potter was truly an enigma. She was always springing surprises on him when he least expected them. He decided that it would be a long time before he could ever catch up with the mechanics of the way her mind worked. Not that it would be a good idea to figure out what exactly was running through her mind. 

No, it wouldn't be a good idea to get any closer to Joey at all.

* * *

_To be continued…   
Please send all comments and suggestions to: __pacey@hockeymail.com_

* * *


	10. Nothing More, Nothing Less

This Is When It All Began...  
Chapter 10  
Nothing More, Nothing Less   
by: Jade 

* * *

**Disclaimer****: As before and before…  
  
Author's Note: Congratulations to the New York Yankees for winning the World Series 99! Yeah!  
  
Short summary: Matthew Bradley is back in the picture and this bodes trouble for Pacey and Joey.**

* * *

Joey brushed off Bessie's question before it was even asked. "Don't, Bessie," she said and ran upstairs to seek refuge in Alexander's room since she didn't have one of her own.  
  
She kicked off her shoes and hoisted herself up to the small window seat that was slightly above waist-level. When she was comfortably settled, back resting against a cushion and feet propped up against the opposite wall, she allowed herself to enjoy the view out the window. Bessie was in the front lawn, playing with Alex. They both felt themselves being watched and looked up. Alex pointed with a little finger upward and waved excitedly to his aunt whilst his mother was holding him under the arms as he learned to take his first steps on his own. Joey chuckled.   
  
No matter how complicated things were and how incomplete she felt, she had a family and friends she cherished. For now, it should be as simple as that.   
  
There should be nothing more, nothing less.

* * *

"Whatever it is, the answer is no."  
  
"What?" He feigned surprise at her accusation. "I haven't said a word."  
  
"No," she said. Pacey couldn't see the look on his face but she could. "No."  
  
"School's starting in less than two weeks. We've finally reached the end of a boring routine," he gestured around the video store just as they were making their way out after the end of their final shift. "Time to celebrate. It's just a party. We don't have to stay long."  
  
"So, go."  
  
"You ever heard of the story of the lonely boy who was laughed at for turning up at the party of the year _without _a date?"  
  
She rolled her eyes. He scrunched his face into what he hoped was a pitiful expression.  
  
"Witter."  
  
He hugged her to him. "I knew you'd come around," he grinned.  
  
"Oh shut up," she said, pushing him away, throwing him off-balance and nearly off the curb.

* * *

"Wow." He whistled appreciatively as she came to the front door. "Kind of dressy for a party you didn't want to go to in the first place, isn't it?"  
  
She stopped in her tracks and turned back. "That's it. I knew it was a mistake."  
  
He reached out an arm to stop her. "Whoa! All right, I'll keep my mouth shut."  
  
"One more smart remark out of you and I'm out," she warned.  
  
He raised his arms in surrender. "I'm a moron, okay? That was my way of saying, 'You look great'."  
  
And she did, casual yet elegant in a classy velvet top and a calf-length skirt.  
  
She eyed his attire. At least his shirt was ironed this time.  
  
"I know I look great too. You don't have to say it."  
  
"Trust me, Pacey. I wasn't about to."

***** 

"I'll go get us drinks," he said, leaving her side and disappearing completely into the crowd within seconds.   
  
She perused the place, trying to spot familiar faces and caught sight of Jack's. Catching his gaze, she smiled. He waved and leaned forward to talk to the girl who was standing beside him and whose back was facing her. Joey didn't realize it was Jen until the mass of people dispersed, giving her a better view.  
  
"Well, I guess there's no time like now to apologize," she told herself as they made their way toward her.  
  
"Joey, I'm surprised to see you here." Jack gave her a tight squeeze around the shoulders. "Something tells me Pacey had something to do with this."  
  
"Did someone call for me?" He emerged by their side, with two cups. "Hey, Jack."  
  
As the guys began to keep each other up-to-date of the latest happenings in their lives, Joey took her cup and looked to Jen, who had been standing by silently.  
  
Summing her courage in case Jen decided to ignore her, she said the first words that came to her.  
  
"I'm sorry, Jen."  
  
The latter whom had been looking everywhere but at her, dragged her eyes to Joey's face and could see that she was truly apologetic. She nodded slightly.  
  
"I know I've been an ass about things and an apology's probably not enough-"  
  
"Joey," she put out a hand on her arm. "I understand."  
  
It wasn't exactly the right time or place but Joey made up her mind that she and Jen would have to sit down sometime and talk things through until they were blue in the face, if necessary, to clear the air between them once and for all.  
  
"It's not a good time to bring this up but I should warn you-"  
  
"-Matthew Bradley's here and he's right behind you," Jack continued from Jen.  
  
Joey closed her eyes against the dread she felt and exchanged looks with Pacey, who managed to maintained an apathetic expression.  
  
He's coming over, he mouthed.   
  
Without haste, he took Joey's cup and put it and his onto the table next to them and pulled her toward him gently.  
  
"What are you doing?" she whispered in alarm.  
  
"Playing the part of a doting boyfriend." He took her arms and wrapped them around his waist. "Relax," he said, rubbing her shoulders reassuringly. "And make like you enjoy being with me."  
  
Jack had been informed about the pretense of them playing a couple but still, he had to raise a brow in surprise at how comfortable and _fitting_ they looked in each other's arms.   
  
Jen shrugged when he turned to look at her. Don't ask me, her body language said.  
  
"Oh God," Joey said, not exactly up for a winning performance. She leaned forward and rested her forehead on his chest. "Maybe he'll just leave us alone."  
  
"You wish," he assured in false hope. "He's-"  
  
"Pacey and Joey. My two favorite people in the world."  
  
Matthew Bradley was now standing before them. Joey looked up and Pacey instinctively tightened his grip around her.  
  
"Sure, Bradley," he said. "We're glad to see you too."   
  
His voice was dripping with sarcasm but it wasn't enough to send the former away.  
  
"Hostile, aren't we?" he shook his head mockingly. "I guess what I've heard about Capeside being a warm town is totally bogus then."  
  
"Completely," Pacey said coldly.  
  
Ignoring him, Bradley commented to Joey, "You're real quiet today, Joey. Not your usual feisty self?"  
  
She could smell about three shots of vodka on his breath. "I'm only so when I'm around people I _like_." She dragged the last word for emphasis and gave him her famous stare.  
  
He laughed, not in the least intimidated. In fact, he seemed even more determined. Pacey tensed, ready to jump to her defense anytime.  
  
"That's strange because I have it on good authority that you two can't stand each other." He laughed again. "And who's Dawson?"   
  
It was strange and unexpected but Pacey felt a twinge of guilt when he heard his best friend's name.  
  
"That's quite enough, Matthew." Jen interrupted, moving forward to stand in front of Pacey and Joey. "Why don't you scurry along to your drinking buddies and leave the women alone?"  
  
"Jen. We were briefly introduced, weren't we?"  
  
'Unfortunately."  
  
"What's with you guys and one-liners?" He chuckled. "Come on, it's not like I'm going to jump the girls."  
  
Joey stiffened involuntarily and Pacey felt the jolt. In spite of what she had claimed before, he knew that she had been affected by the news of Bradley Jen had delivered.  
  
It was Jack's turn to interrupt. "We don't want to have to ask the host to throw you out," he said in a low and calm voice but underneath it, he meant business.  
  
"Jack McPhee. I've heard about you." He put his arm around the latter's shoulder. "The first guy to walk out of the closet at Capeside High. I'm impressed."   
  
With as much politeness as Jack could muster, he disentangled himself from Bradley's touch. "I think I see Jon Harris. You touch me one more time and I might just scream like a girl to get his attention," he deadpanned.   
  
Jon Harris was the son of one of the town's prominent businessmen, who unlike most of the socialite kids, was actually nice, if not slightly boastful. He had decided to throw one of his well-known parties and invited the whole of Capeside High School to celebrate his getting into Harvard. Few found a reason to dislike or offend him. Of course, it helped that he was also built like a tank.  
  
Bradley looked to where Jon was standing and decided he would be on the losing end of a fight if one were to ensue. "All right, I'll go." He reached out to graze Joey's cheek but moved it away before Pacey could smack it away. "Joey, I'll see you _soon_," he taunted before walking away.

***** 

They parted from Jack and Jen and found themselves a quieter spot away from the music and the dancing.   
  
"Hey, you sure you don't want to leave?"  
  
She shook her head stubbornly.  
  
"You don't have to stay because of me."  
  
"No," she protested. "I was actually having fun before he came along. I'm not going to let him ruin the rest of the night for m -us," she corrected herself.  
  
"Okay then."  
  
They admired the view of the main grounds from the gazebo, half-hidden behind a lovely garden of flowers.  
  
"So this is what it's like to be rich."  
  
"You know, one day I hope to be like that."  
  
"What, rich?" he asked.  
  
"No, on my way to Harvard or some Ivy League college."  
  
He sighed. "Haven't you been listening to a word I've said? I've told you that you were going to make it eons ago."  
  
"It's tough, Pacey. Everyone seems to take it for granted that I'll make it but I'm not sure…" She was momentarily distracted by a noise coming from the bushes.  
  
"You'll be fine, Potter. Just fine."  
  
She smiled slightly at his encouragement and they retreated into silence again.  
  
Joey waited a whole minute and then she couldn't ignore it anymore. "Pacey," she said softly. "We're out of Bradley's sight, you can let go of me now."  
  
"Wh-," he started. And then he realized that he was still holding onto her waist. He let go of her abruptly.  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"I'm okay. Still in one piece," she joked. Deciding it was safer to change the subject, she told him, "You know what, you should go back to the party."  
  
"Nah, don't think so."  
  
"Go on. Don't be such a baby."  
  
"Baby," he grumbled.   
  
She gave him a look that said she had proven her point.  
  
"All right, I know when I'm not wanted." He moved to return to the house. "Just be sure to stay where you are until I get back."  
  
She rolled her eyes.  
  
"Promise."  
  
"Yeah, okay," she said reluctantly.  
  
He opened his mouth to say something else but then changed his mind. "You stay there."   
  
"Go!" she growled.  
  
"I'm gone."  
  
She watched him until he disappeared into the crowd. She took a seat on a bench and watched the sky.   
  
The noise from the bushes came again.  
  
"Who's there?" she called out. "Anyone there?"  
  
When there wasn't an answer, she got up to investigate and was almost prepared to scream her lungs out when she was met at her feet by a small ball of fur.  
  
She jumped a little at the ticklish sensation and then bent to pick the kitten up. It meowed softly at her.  
  
"Hey stranger," she said.  
  
She sat back down and cuddled the animal closer to her, rubbing it between its ears. It returned her affection by resting its furry head against her arm.  
  
"Sleepy, huh? W-"  
  
Her mind went numb for a second before it registered alarm. She tried to scream but against the big hand that covered her mouth, her cries for help was nothing more than muffled noises.  
  
She dropped the kitten and it scampered away in fright.  
  
She was hardly weak at five-foot-ten but the man's strength was beyond her. She struggled to gather enough momentum to punch him in the stomach with her elbow but he'd anticipated the incoming blow and ducked his body to one side. With the last shred of force she could muster, she dug her nails deep into his flesh and bit his hand.  
  
He loosened the grip on her mouth and smacked her face. "Ouch! You bitch!"  
  
She stumbled halfway to the ground and tried to scramble away, against the power of his other arm around her body. She tried to crawl but ended up only scratching at the grass as he recovered in time to grab on to her leg.   
  
_I'm going to die_.  
  
That was her last thought as she fell limp into a world of darkness when it felt like a ton of bricks had fallen and hit the side of her face.

***** 

Pacey danced a little with a girl in his History class before he excused himself to use the bathroom. He hadn't kept his eyes off Matthew Bradley since he came back to the house. Bradley was surrounded by a group of jocks and girls at the top of the stairway, no doubt charming their socks off.  
  
There was a line outside the bathroom and he made sure he had full view of the group while he waited. For a moment, Bradley looked up and smiled, lifting his cup as though to toast him. Pacey didn't react to his gesture, except with a straight face and a string of iniquitous thoughts to hurt the guy badly.  
  
A senior and his girlfriend distracted him momentarily as they bumped into him in their drunken state and asked if they could jump the line in front of him because one of them really needed to use the toilet.   
  
Pacey decided he didn't want either of them puking on his shoes and waved them forward. When he looked back, Bradley was gone.

***** 

Joey moaned at the pain shooting up from her cheek right to her temple. The entire left side of her face felt swollen as she gingerly touched the tip of her fingers to it and winced in agony.  
  
She could hardly open her left eye and her vision was blurred as she tried to figure out where she was. She was still in the garden but a different part of it.  
  
She tried to sit up but her head hurt so much, she had to lay back.  
  
An unfamiliar face began swimming in front of her.  
  
"So, you're awake."  
  
A second voice emerged from a distance away. It stopped just short of her head.  
  
"I told you to _grab_ her, not _kill_ her!"  
  
Matthew Bradley. It was the only conscious thought running through her foggy mind at the moment.  
  
"Hey, she put up quite a fight for a girl and she bit my hand. It still hurts!"  
  
"Oh, _poor_ Bruce," he remarked sarcastically.  
  
"Cut the crap. Just give me my money," Bruce said.  
  
There was the sound of shuffling and Joey could hardly make out Bruce's towering build as he stuffed a wad of notes into his pocket.  
  
"Nice doing business with you." He laughed. "Enjoy her."  
  
Her last glimmer of hope disappeared with his departure. She couldn't stall for any more time.  
  
"Don't-" She tried to tell him not to go, but all that was left was the sound of Bradley's footsteps.  
  
He stood over her.   
  
"Don't-" she said again. It took all of her might just to utter the single word.  
  
"Hi, Joey."  
  
"No," she said more strongly.  
  
"It's too late." He smiled wickedly. "No one can hear you."

***** 

Panic was threatening to overcome him. Scanning the room quickly, his brain was telling him what his heart had already told him.  
  
He pushed several people out of his way as he took the stairs two at a time.   
  
"Jack," he held on to the latter's shoulder. "Find Harris and get to the gazebo as fast as you can."  
  
"Wh-"  
  
"Just do as I say!" He pleaded with his eyes. "_Please!_"  
  
Jack needed no more persuasion as he ran off.  
  
_Please don't let me be too late_. Pacey ran like crazy. He got to where he had left Joey but she was no longer there. Only her cardigan remained on the bench.  
  
"Joey!" he shouted. "Joey!"  
  
  
_It's over_, she thought. Then, she heard his voice. It was faint but it was there.  
  
"Pacey," she managed weakly. _Pacey_, she screamed inward.  
  
"Shit!" Bradley was about to undress her when he heard the sound of his least favorite person approaching. "Shit!"  
  
He quickly zipped up his pants and was about to dart for escape when he was discovered.  
  
Pacey heard the rustling and he ran toward it. He was afraid for Joey. Afraid because he knew there was a tremendous chance he was too late. Afraid because he would never be able to look her in the eyes again because he left her when he shouldn't have.  
  
Afraid because there was some part of him that was still the lonely nine-year-old who fell in love with her.   
  
Her still body was the first thing he saw.  
  
"Please try to run," he said, so angry he was shaking. "I want nothing more than to beat your brains out."  
  
Bradley couldn't refuse a challenge. He had wanted to slip away but couldn't back away from the prospect of beating Pacey Witter to a pulp.  
  
He ran at Pacey and knocked him to the ground.  
  
They struggled, rolling about in the dirt. Pacey gained the upper hand when he kept Bradley pinned down and started punching him. He kept at it as blood gushed from his nose.  
  
"Pace," she called out weakly.  
  
He heard her. In that moment, his heart soared when he realized she was still alive and his grip lessened. Bradley felt it and pushed him roughly aside. Now at a disadvantage, Pacey received two hard, rapid blows to his face but was saved from more by Jack.  
  
"Pacey! Where are you?"  
  
Bradley knew it was his last chance to run. He kicked Pacey in the ribs one last time before he took off.  
  
Holding on to his side, he half-crawled and half-stumbled toward Joey.   
  
"Joey?" He lifted her head slowly and gingerly onto his lap. He cradled her and gasped as tears shot up to his eyes, not from the pain but from the agony of seeing her like that.  
  
"It's n-not as b-bad as it l-looks." She was pausing between words to swallow. It took all of her effort to speak.  
  
She was trying to comfort him.  
  
He couldn't possibly love her more. But he did.   
  
"Oh my God," Jack said, in shock when he came upon the two of them. Harris was right behind him and even he was caught off-guard.  
  
Pacey pointed in the direction where Bradley escaped. "He ran that way."  
  
They both took off without hesitation.  
  
Jen followed and she started to cry at the sight. "Jesus," she whispered.  
  
"Jen," he managed as he felt himself slipping away. "Call my Dad."   
  
And then he fainted from the pain.

* * *

_To be continued…  
Please send all comments and suggestions to: pacey@hockeymail.com_

* * *


	11. To Be Loved

This Is When It All Began...  
Chapter 11  
To Be Loved   
by: Jade 

* * *

**Disclaimer****: Whatever it's not, it's not.  
  
Author's Note: Be really patient with me. I've written parts ten and eleven in a total of four days, the latter one in just one. I'm on a roll and there's no sign of writer's block ****J**** so I hope I'll be able to churn out the next two parts soon.  
  
Short summary: Pacey and Joey are well on the road to recovering from their physical scars…but they find that it's their hearts that are slow to heal.**

* * *

"You two going to be all right?" Bessie asked. "I could stay up."  
  
"We'll be fine," Joey replied. She was propped up against the pillows on the bed, looking a thousand times better than when they found her. Dried blood and dirt had been cleaned off her face and X-rays revealed that nothing had been broken and the doctor said that the swelling would go down in a week. If anything, Pacey looked a lot worse.  
  
He held on to her hand, sitting by her side. Two hours ago, he was still sleeping the sleep of idiots when a nightmare paid him a visit. He woke up in a cold sweat and a nurse whose tag read L. Charles managed to chuck a bedpan at him before he become sick in it.  
  
Her name was the first word he muttered when he felt okay enough to talk. "Where is she?" he had asked. Nurse Charles pushed aside the curtain separating his bed from the next one.  
  
She was fast asleep and looked to be at peace, in complete contrast to the traumatic event that had taken place before.  
  
"The doctor gave her a sedative. She'll be out for another hour or so."  
  
He nodded his thanks.  
  
"I heard what happened." Nurse Charles reached over to hold his hand briefly. Her touch was warm and motherly. "I would have died if it had happened to my daughter." She squeezed his hand lightly. "You're a good man."  
  
"But," he swallowed. "I couldn't stop her from getting hurt."  
  
"You tried. You two obviously love each other, that's what counts."  
  
He was about to say more, when the doctor came back on his rounds.  
  
"Mrs. Charles, how's our patient?"  
  
"As good as can be expected."  
  
The doctor, a young man who looked like he was barely out of high school, flashed a light into his pupils for reflex and checked the rest of his body for injuries that they might have missed beforehand.  
  
"You'll be as good as new in a couple of weeks." He noted something down on his chart. "If you're feeling up to it, your father would like to ask you some questions about the incident."  
  
"Okay," he agreed.  
  
The doctor and nurse stepped out and his father appeared at his bedside.  
  
"Glorious day, huh, Pop?" he joked, uncertain as to how his father was going to react to his getting into a fight.  
  
To say he was surprised when instead of reprimanding him, his father embraced him, was an understatement.   
  
"You're tough, just like me." His voice was hoarse with emotion.   
  
Pacey winced when his father squeezed him too hard.  
  
"Sorry," John Witter apologized. He let his son go and brushed his hair off his forehead. "We can do this tomorrow."  
  
"No." Pacey was adamant. "I want Matthew Bradley caught."  
  
Bessie kissed Joey on the forehead and told Pacey, "If you need anything, just yell. I'll be in the next room."  
  
The former had given up her bedroom for the night and opted to sleep in Alexander's room while her sister got all the rest she needed. Joey hadn't wanted to stay in the hospital and neither did Pacey. They were given permission to be discharged but were advised to return to the hospital immediately if they felt that their conditions were deteriorating.  
  
John Witter had wanted to take his son home but he chose to stay with Joey. "I'm fine, really," he assured his parents. They were reluctant to let him go but knew that it was hard to change his mind when it was already made up.  
  
"You call if you need anything," they told him.  
  
"Go, Bessie. Alex needs you." Joey said.   
  
After Bessie had retired for the night, morning really since it was already three, an awkward silence settled between them.  
  
"Now you can get some sleep," he said cheerfully. "I don't want to crowd you. I'll be on the sofa."  
  
"Wait, Pacey." She held on to his fingers.  
  
Her left eye was puffy and her cheek was a massive bruise. Her lip had been cut at the corner. He knew he didn't look any prettier. His bottom lip was split and his nose had very nearly been broken. His knuckles still ached from the punches he threw and it hurt to take breaths.  
  
"We have to talk."  
  
"It can wait," he disagreed.  
  
"No, it can't," she insisted. Her stubborn streak hadn't diminished in any sense. "It wasn't your fault," she said softly.  
  
"I made you go to that party and then I left you alone."  
  
"I have a mind of my own and I told you to."  
  
"Still, I shouldn't have listened."  
  
She would have laughed if it didn't hurt.  
  
"We shouldn't be fighting about this. If anyone's to blame, it's Bradley."  
  
"That bastard."  
  
She leaned back further to rest her head. "Pacey, I was ready to give up hope. You saved me from that. It means more to me than you'll ever know."   
  
"I was afraid," he admitted.  
  
"So was I."  
  
"For you," he continued.  
  
"So was I. For you, I mean," she clarified.  
  
They locked gazes for a long time. And Joey finally let go of his fingers.  
  
He stood up. "It's definitely time for that rest." He tucked her in and moved to the doorway. "Good night, Joey."  
  
"Good night, Pacey."

*****

He looked friendly and was dressed in an impeccable suit but it was just a disguise. When he took off his shades, his face was covered with dirt and menace. She started to cry and he started to laugh. And laughed. The laugh turned into a howl before brown smoke began pouring out of his mouth.  
  
She woke up.  
  
She gasped and sat up so quickly the room began to swirl. Her breathing was heavy and her heart felt like it was about to jump out of her chest. As she recovered from the initial shock, she began to sob.   
  
He had been so silent she hadn't realized he had been in the room until his arm went around her.   
  
"Just a nightmare," he soothed. "You're okay."  
  
She cried into his shoulder in an awkward position, afraid to aggravate her aching cheek and the pain in his body.  
  
Through her wet eyes, she could barely make out the armchair that Pacey had made his bed for the night. The blanket and spare sheets Bessie had given to him earlier on were strewn on the floor in his haste to get to her.  
  
When her crying subsided, she asked, "When did you come up?"  
  
He hesitated to tell her. "About five minutes after I went downstairs." He took the glass of water on the bedside table and handed it to her.  
  
She took several sips and put it aside.  
  
"You think you could go back to sleep?" He fluffed her pillows and helped her lay back.  
  
"Stay."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You can sleep here. Beside me." She patted the bed. When he didn't answer, she added almost pleadingly, "Please."  
  
He sighed and nodded.

*****

It felt like he had barely slept when he heard Bessie trying to hush Alexander. He turned his head and as though she sensed he was watching her, she opened her eyes.  
  
He considered reaching over to do something foolish, like kiss her.  
  
But he didn't. It'd pass, he told himself.  
  
Everything did. Sooner or later.

* * *

He paced the corridors of the sheriff's department for a good fifteen minutes before his father was done showing Joey more pictures of past offenders and asking more questions, in order to catch her initial assailant.  
  
John Witter would have gladly paid a visit to the Potters' instead of having Joey come down to the station but she had no intention of cooping herself up in the house any further.  
  
"Time to face the music," she had said. "I'm just waiting for the finger pointing and the gossip mongers to start speculating on how the Potter girl brought it upon herself. Who knows, I might even get some sympathy in the process."  
  
The past days, she had stayed in bed until she made sure she looked well enough not to frighten any small children. Jen and Jack had paid her a couple of visits, each time bringing with them either flowers, books or fruits.  
  
After the fourth day, she decided she had enough of feeling like an invalid and took a trip down to the Sheriff's, with Pacey tagging along like a worrisome shadow.   
  
"Walk with me," she nagged. "Not behind me."  
  
He obliged.  
  
He stopped pacing when the door to the office opened.   
  
"Thanks for coming down, Joey."  
  
She returned John Witter's handshake. "I hope I was able to help," she said.  
  
"You've done enough." He touched her arm lightly. "Take care of yourself."   
  
Father and son exchanged knowing glances. "Pop, can I talk to you for a sec?"  
  
"I'll wait for you outside," Joey said, leaving them to speak in private.   
  
Pacey jumped right into it. "What's going on?"  
  
"The asshole's father got his fancy lawyer to post bail. It's not likely that anything will stick." Rustling through some paper on his desk, John continued reading from a file. "He's got no priors, perfect school record and they're claiming that the area was dark and only you and Joey saw the alleged assailant or assailants and in your apparent distress and prejudice, could have had your judgement blinded and identified the wrong persons.  
  
"Bullshit! How did he explain the bruises on his face?"  
  
"He told them he fell down the stairs when he was drunk and the maid saw it." He shook his head. "This doesn't look to be on your side. The judge is probably going to dismiss the case."  
  
Pacey's hands doubled up into fists by his side.  
  
"I _saw_ him, Dad."  
  
"I know, son. I know."

*****

He met her outside and forced a smile for her benefit. Out into the sunshine and walking toward the direction of Joey's place, he broached the other subject that had been bothering him for awhile now.  
  
"I think Dawson should be told."  
  
"No," she shook her head stubbornly. "There is no need for that."  
  
"This break between you and him can wait. He needs to know what's happened."  
  
She stopped in her tracks. "This is not about my being petty. He's miles away, why worry him unnecessarily. What's he going to do? Leave his internship early and take the first bus back?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Pacey, this can wait until he gets back. I'll tell him myself." She started walking. "Hell, maybe the whole town will get to him before I do and then I won't have to."  
  
He stood his ground and where he was. "Joey, he's your best friend."  
  
She turned back and she looked upset. "So what are you, huh? My servant, my lackey?" Her voice went up few decibels in that instant. "Pacey, face it! You want Dawson back just so you can get out of _this_!" She waved her arms in the air. "Whatever _this_ is."   
  
The truth hit home harder than he had expected. He ran after her storming figure and took her arm.   
  
She brushed it aside. "Get away from me, Pacey."  
  
He stood in her way. "I'm sorry."  
  
"I'm not." She walked around him. They had reached a junction and she took a different route toward the town center.  
  
"Where are you going?" he shouted after her.  
  
"I'm a little high-strung now, okay? I need to be alone. Go home, Pacey."

*****

She couldn't explain her outburst. Or at least she didn't want to. It would be too dangerous to analyze the emotions that had triggered it off.  
  
She held one shoe in each hand as she sidestepped the stones on the beach, careful not to hurt her feet on their jagged edges. And she sat on the sand for a long time, watching the couples stroll by her without so much as a glance at the solitary figure watching them. After three hours, she still didn't know what to do.  
  
On her way home, she passed a telephone booth and paused. Reaching for the receiver, she dug into her pocket for all the coins she had and slipped a couple into the slot. She had his number memorized by heart.  
  
"Hi, this is Gail. Dawson and I-"  
  
She hung up without hearing the rest of the message.

* * *

"Are you sure?"  
  
"_Yes_," Bessie stressed.  
  
"Have you checked upstairs?"  
  
"I've been here the whole day. Now, unless she's suddenly mastered the art of being invisible, she hasn't come home."  
  
"Shit."  
  
"What happened between the two of you?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"There's sure a whole lot of _nothing_ going around these days," she said knowingly.  
  
"This is not the time."  
  
"I'm not going to argue with you on that. If she's still not back within the next hour, I'm going out to search for her myself."  
  
Pacey put down the telephone and ran his fingers through his hair, the way he did when he was frustrated. He walked over to the window to look out of it while he gathered his thoughts.  
  
It had been a stupid thing to do. Insisting she told Dawson. What the hell was he thinking? Oh yeah, he knew what he was thinking and so did she.  
  
He blinked and leaned closer to the pane. He hoped his eyes weren't playing tricks on him because he could have sworn she was walking toward his front door.  
  
He ran to the door and stepped out onto the porch before she even approached the front steps. Surprised, she lifted startled brown eyes to his blue ones. He closed the distance between them and didn't want to make any presumptions. So he waited.  
  
She walked into the chain of his arms and he breathed a sigh of relief. He hugged her tightly to him, slightly lifting her off her feet.  
  
She buried her face into the crevice where his shoulder met his neck and planted a light kiss on it before lifting her face up to his. Quickly, before she lost the nerve, she drew in closer and kissed him on the lips. Without thinking, he found himself kissing her back. Her arms tightened around him and her fingers played with the hair at his nape. She couldn't seem to get close enough. His hands began roaming down her back and they moved down to hold her securely around her waist.  
  
It felt like forever before they pulled apart but they remained in an embrace, eyes still locked, both breathing heavily.  
  
She couldn't account for what she had just done and didn't know how to explain. "I'm sorry," she whispered and then looked away.  
  
His next words brought her gaze back.   
  
"I'm not," he whispered back, echoing her earlier remark.  
  
She smiled sadly and leaned in until their foreheads touched.   
  
"What's going to happen now?" she mumbled, not really expecting her question to be answered.

* * *

  
_To be continued…   
Please send all comments and suggestions to: pacey@hockeymail.com_

* * *


	12. One Week

This Is When It All Began...  
Chapter 12  
One Week   
by: Jade 

* * *

**Disclaimer****: The same old words.  
  
Author's Note: I think I jinxed my luck by talking about it previously - because right now, I've just stumbled upon another case of writer's block. I know where the story's going but I just can't seem to write.   
  
Short summary: Two young lovers finding each other. What could be more perfect...right?**

* * *

He sat at the edge of the dock, stalling as he tried to figure out what to say to her once he saw her.   
  
The day before, they had parted in front of his house and she had hurried home before Bessie could call out a search party. They hadn't spoken to each other until this morning when she phoned him.  
  
"We need to talk."  
  
He couldn't tell from her tone if she was regretting what had transpired between them but either way, her words posed an ominous threat to his peace of mind.   
  
"What am I going to do?" he asked himself as he pictured Andie crying her eyes out and throwing eggs at him after he told her.  
  
Told her what exactly?   
  
"Hey."  
  
Her footsteps were quiet, her voice soft. She had seen him from the window and came out instead of waiting for him to knock on her door, that is if he was ever planning to.  
  
He got to his feet awkwardly. "Hey," he replied, not sure where his hands should go.  
  
Her face fell a little when she noted his uneasiness but she quickly covered it up with a bright smile. "So, let's forget yesterday ever happened. What say you?"  
  
"Is that what you want?"  
  
She sobered. "Isn't that what _you_ want?"  
  
"This is ridiculous. I- I asked you first."  
  
She seemed to mull it over as she looked down at her feet.   
  
"I don't know," she finally said.  
  
"Me neither."  
  
"What do we do?"  
  
He remained silent.  
  
"But it doesn't matter," she hastened to add. "I'm not forcing you to make a decision. I know we can't-"  
  
He had walked up slowly to her, his face a contortion of emotions. He bent his head to hers and whispered against her lips. "Let's just worry about now."  
  
She closed her eyes and nodded mutely. Relief washed over her and was reflected in her eyes when she opened them briefly again. Tilting her head, she parted her lips against his and tried to forget everything else but the moment.  
  


*****

"You asleep?"  
  
Her living room was dark except for what little natural light was filtered through the windows. It was almost ten in the evening. The television set flickered in the background. Pacey was propped against the arm of the couch and the length of his body stretched across it. Joey was lying on the inside, her head on his chest with her fingers gripped to his collar. Her face was half-hidden by her fallen hair and she hadn't moved much in the past ten minutes.  
  
"No," she murmured into his shirt. "I was just thinking."  
  
He twirled his finger around a strand of her hair. "I haven't been watching the movie either."   
  
She shifted her body to look at him and her expression was one of sadness. He reached out to touch her cheek.  
  
"Wanna tell me?"  
  
"Seven days. One week before Dawson comes home and our actions haunt us."  
  
"Jo-"  
  
"From where we've started, we've got nowhere to go."  
  
He inhaled deeply. "Do you want me to leave?"  
  
She shut her eyes and shook her head adamantly. "It's not going to solve anything."  
  
"Joey, right now my mind's a blank but I do know I don't want to run away from this and I don't intend to."   
  
She moved away from him and brought her legs toward her, sitting upright. She used the remote to turn off the television set.   
  
"We never actually had that talk."  
  
Pacey sighed and straightened. "Okay, I'll go first." He turned toward her. "Look at me," he asked.  
  
She met his gaze.  
  
"What I feel for you is, is complicated. I don't know any other way to say it. I want to tell you things but I stop myself before I say too much. I want to be with you but morally, I can't."  
  
"Andie," she whispered.  
  
"And Dawson."  
  
"Dawson and I are over."  
  
"No," he laughed softly and without humor. "You and Dawson will never be over."  
  
"And you and Andie have so much together." She felt like crying. "So, this is a mistake. Why are we even discussing it?"  
  
"Because," he took her hand, "what my head's saying, my heart isn't listening." He touched his other hand to her face and smiled ruefully. "Andie is an incredible gift but-" He paused. "But."  
  
"You know this is the longest chat we've ever had that didn't involve a sarcastic remark."  
  
"I pour my heart out and that's all you have to say."  
  
She laughed in spite of her tears and kissed him.   
  
"My turn." She gave his hand a squeeze. "I haven't thought about Dawson and me in awhile," she confessed. "I don't know what that means but I don't want to overanalyze it."  
  
He waited for her to go on.  
  
"I guess what I'm trying to say is," she said, taking a deep breath. "I don't have a problem with it if you don't."  
  
Pacey was taken aback by her proposition. She was asking for a short-lived romance that would last only as long as they _could _or would let it…whichever option came first.  
  
"I can't promise you anything-"  
  
"I'm not asking."  
  
"I-"  
  
"Just say the word and it's over."  
  
Pacey was overwhelmed with turmoil. He lost his ability to think straight and speak coherently. So instead he did the only thing he could. He put his arm around her and let her settle her head on his shoulder and breathed in her scent.  
  
_What have I done_, she questioned herself. _This is not me._ She buried her face further into his shirt to stop from rationalizing.  
  
From the bottom of the stairway, Bessie had heard enough of the conversation to thank her lucky stars she never had to go through the experience of being in love with two people at the same time.

* * *

By the corner of the street, they stood watching some people hurry by, some people walking leisurely, others just sitting down enjoying the sunshine. Sadly, they couldn't do any of those things together for risk of being seen by someone from school or knew.  
  
"I'll pick up some things for Bessie and then I'll meet you in two hours."   
  
"Okay," he nodded his agreement and ruffled her hair affectionately. "I'll miss you."  
  
She rolled her eyes. In return, he kissed her lightly on the mouth.  
  
She started to go in one direction and he, the other but they were tugged forward again when they didn't let go of each other's hand.  
  
Reluctantly, she made the first move of releasing her grip. "I'll see you later."  
  
He let go and went on his way, hands stuffed in his pockets. She turned back to go on her errand and gasped softly in surprise.  
  
There was no doubt in her mind and from the latter's expression that Jen had seen the whole thing.   
  


*****

She stirred her coffee distractedly.   
  
There were a couple of ladies whispering to each other and pointing at her from the table across but Joey wasn't paying much attention to them. Jen, however, was getting increasingly annoyed and looked back pointedly and glared until they quieted down and turned away grudgingly. One of them shot her a rude look but she was used to those and simply raised her brow.  
  
Joey was healing nicely and there was only a slight semblance of injuries that had marred her face before. As a matter of genuine concern, Jen asked, "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Fine," she said, looking at her. "I think." She put down the spoon and rested her elbows on the table, crossing her fingers under her chin. "Until now."  
  
"You have nothing to worry about. I'm not going to say anything."  
  
"That's the least of my worries."  
  
Jen could empathize and tried words of comfort. "It isn't your fault. Things happen."  
  
"Things like _that_ don't happen to me." She covered her face with her hands and allowed herself a short cry of frustration.  
  
"How long have you and Pacey-" Jen stopped talking when Joey looked up at her. "Hey, you don't have to tell me."  
  
"Just two days," she surrendered the information.  
  
"It could have been a lot sooner," Jen noted without thinking.  
  
"What are you saying? It's not like we planned to hurt-"  
  
"Joey," she said. "Calm down. I didn't mean it the way it came out." When the latter had been sufficiently placated, she continued, "Remember the video I shot of us that day in the park and later at the house?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
"I think you should watch it."  
  
Joey raised a brow quizzically.   
  
"Any fool could have seen, you know, there was-," she paused, searching for the right word to use. "Tension. And then so many things happened and I became more and more sure."  
  
"Does Jack know?"  
  
"Well, he's the exception, so I guess," she drawled on, "that makes him a fool. Jack's confused about a lot of things."  
  
There was a stillness and then Joey laughed.  
  
"I really shouldn't have said that," Jen said, embarrassed.  
  
Joey laughed a bit more and then she sobered up. "Do you think he would tell Andie if he found out?"  
  
Jen shook her head. "He would understand that things never happen the way you plan them to be and a hundred fingers pointing accusingly at you is not going to help ease the pain of trying to figure them out."  
  
She shut her eyes briefly. "I know in my heart that it'll never work out. Not now. Not yet."  
  
"Shakespeare's right. Love and reason keep little company these days."  
  
She was quick to interject. "I don't know if what I feel for him is love."  
  
"How does he feel about you?"  
  
"I know he loves Andie."  
  
"That wasn't what I asked."  
  
"I don't think I want to answer any more questions."  
  
"Okay," Jen replied and dropped the subject as though it had never been brought up.

* * *

Neither of them had ever voiced declarations of love and forever, whether intentional or accidental, jokingly or seriously. She was careful not to let her tongue slip and if she had sensed that he was about to say something he might regret, she would have stopped him.   
  
But he didn't.  
  
They were non-committal. Just the way they liked it whilst they were trying to figure things out.  
  
There were another four days to go before Dawson's return.   
  
"Yippee!" Pacey said, swinging Alexander up and down like a toy plane in flight.   
  
"Pacey, put him down before he throws up what's left of his lunch," she warned.   
  
"Come on, the little guy loves it." He held the baby securely under its arms and wriggled its body from side to side. "Right, Alex?"  
  
Alexander chuckled and reached out to touch Pacey's nose. "Dada," he said, in childish mischief, attempting to talk.  
  
"This shouldn't take too long." Bessie walked into the living room and started rummaging through the drawers and under the cushions for her keys. "Pam and I are just going to have a chat and I'll- You sure you can handle Alex and dinner?"  
  
Joey looked up from her novel. "My cooking skills well surpass the art of heating up TV dinners in the microwave, you know."   
  
"Okay, I get it." She grabbed her keys off the floor where she spotted them. "I'm out of here."  
  
She made it to the front lawn before Joey counted down the seconds to when she would return. "Three, two, one," she muttered, not looking up from her book this time.  
  
"Joey-"  
  
"Get lost, Bessie."  
  
"All right! Pacey, be careful with him!"  
  
"Don't worry. I'm just going to bounce Alex off the floor a couple of times on his head to improve his IQ."  
  
Joey chortled and Alexander let out a fit of giggles.  
  
Bessie gave up. "Why do I even bother?" she said and finally left.  
  


*****

When she came home a few hours later, Alexander was already asleep. Stepping around the toys on the floor to get to them, she gently unclasped his fingers from Pacey's shirt and lifted him from the latter's chest and into her arms. "Alex, time to go to bed," she whispered.  
  
Pacey's head lolled to one side of the armchair he was in. He stirred when the weight was taken off him but didn't wake up from his slumber.  
  
After putting her son in his cot, she turned on the baby monitor in the room and carried the other one with her, wondering where Joey was. She found her sister at the back of the house, her opened sketchbook kept close to her while she appeared to be daydreaming.   
  
"Would you rather have the sun or the moon?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Joey turned her gaze on Bessie. "The sun or the moon. If you had to choose, which would you rather have?"  
  
"Let's see," she replied, leaning against the door leading to the yard. "One's bright with zest all the time, even when it feels like rainy days are ahead. Seize today is its motto. The other is a little dull but dead romantic and full of sentiment and lives an almost-perfect existence." She settled into a chair. "Hard choice to make."  
  
"Bessie, I was asking a serious question."  
  
"And I was _seriously_ considering it."  
  
Joey snorted.  
  
"You know, I'm not about to lecture you on doing the right or wrong thing because believe it or not, I was sixteen once. Everything is a blur when you're that age, especially when it comes to matters concerning boys. And in your case, two great boys."  
  
"One who hates me for letting him go when it most mattered. Another who already has a girlfriend he adores and I've become the third party."  
  
"Nobody ever said growing up was easy."  
  
"Trust you to make me feel worse than I already do."  
  
Bessie got up to sit next to her. "Enough of talking. Just say what you feel from the top of your head. Don't even think."   
  
Joey nodded.  
  
"How do you feel about Dawson?"  
  
"Love him," she replied without hesitation.  
  
"How do you feel about Pacey?"  
  
She opened her mouth but no words were spoken. She closed it again.  
  
Pacey shut his eyes against what felt like a stab through his heart. He shouldn't have been surprised but he was. He walked away before he overheard any more of a conversation he had accidentally come upon.  
  
What he didn't see was Joey break into a slow smile after her momentary pause. 

"I stopped only because I didn't know how to verbalize what I felt. When you asked me the question, this warm glow and this whole mass of feelings came over me."  
  
Bessie beamed slightly and covered Joey's hand with her own in reassurance.  
  
"Ask me the question again."  
  
She obliged. "How do you feel about Pacey?"  
  
"I could grow to love him very much. I think I might already be halfway there."  
  


* * *

_To be continued…  
Please send all comments and suggestions to: pacey@hockeymail.com_

* * *


	13. One True Thing

This Is When It All Began...  
Chapter 13  
One True Thing   
by: Jade 

* * *

**Disclaimer****: Only the characters that belong to me belong to me.  
  
Author's Note: Hi to Rinny and Heather!   
Have you seen the movie _One True Thing_? Loved it, loved the novel by Anna Quindlen and loved the theme song _My One True Friend_ of the movie sung by Bette Midler.   
Quote below is courtesy of Kristin's transcript from Dawson's Creek The Website.  
  
Short summary: There's nothing more romantic and sweet than a summer romance. The problem is, summer's almost over and reality is just beginning.**

* * *

**"…we're going to keep changing our minds and ... and sometimes even our hearts. And through all of that, the only real thing we can offer each other is forgiveness…"**

**- Joey Potter, _Homecoming_**

"You disappeared on us yesterday."  
  
The hems of his pants were folded to his knees and his bare feet were soaked in the mixture of sand and salt water as the tide came in. He continued to throw stones into the ocean as though he hadn't heard her come up beside him.  
  
"What's the matter?" she asked this time.  
  
"Nothing," he muttered, watching the ripples he was creating.  
  
Before she could say more, the water had threatened to come up to her knees and she quickly moved out of the way before her jeans got wet. She folded up its ends and took off her sandals, rather piqued.   
  
"Pacey, are you throwing a tantrum?"  
  
"No," came a single word.  
  
Her patience had been tried and she decided it was best to leave before she started screaming at him.  
  
He sensed it and grabbed hold of her arm before she could go.  
  
She allowed him to do so and waited for his explanation.   
  
"Do you realize you say my name a lot when you're mad at me?"  
  
"Shut up, Pacey."  
  
He dropped her arm and cradled her face with surprisingly tender hands. "Are you sure about this?"  
  
His tone and demeanor puzzled, and to an extent alarmed her because she was frightened of what he was going to tell her.  
  
She needed to know. "What happened between last night and today?"  
  
"I just need for you to tell me you're sure."  
  
She stared into his face intently. "Yes," she replied, not looking away for a second. "I'm still waiting for you to answer the question."  
  
His arms fell to his side and he avoided her piercing gaze.   
  
"If you're not going to be honest with me, there's no point," she said.  
  
He stood with his back to her, watching the ocean.   
  
_I love you too much to make you stay if it's not me you want._ He put his hands in his pockets."Andie is coming back two days after the start of school," he finally said.  
  
He looked down at the sand and squeezed his eyes shut, his facial expression one of anguish.   
  
She let the silence between them settle for a good while before she stepped up beside him and linked her arm through his.  
  
"Let's go," was the only thing she could think to say and they continued to walk the length of the beach. 

* * *

"Where are you headed?" Bessie asked, stepping in and out of the two connected rooms, trying to clean the mess off the floors and baby-talk with Alexander, who was sitting in his cot whilst chatting with Joey who was packing an overnight bag, at the same time.  
  
"Boston."  
  
"Awfully hard to get some peace at this time, don't you think?"  
  
We're going a little out of the city. We saw a sign for this place on our way back the last time and we're checking it out." She stuffed the last of her clothing into the bag and grabbed a couple of things off the dresser. "We'll be back Friday night."  
  
Bessie walked up to her, arms filled with toys. She was about to speak when her attention was caught by something else. "Joey, what's that on your neck? It looks like someone bit- is that a hickey?"  
  
"No!" she denied, turning red rapidly. "It was a mosquito bite."  
  
"Uh huh," her sister replied, eyebrow raised.  
  
"Bessie…"  
  
"Ok - Alex, take that out of your mouth!"  
  
While Bessie ducked into the other room, her arm automatically reached out to rub her neck and her eyes wandered around, checking that she hadn't forgotten anything. They settled on an old teddy bear sitting unnoticeably on the top of a chest of drawers. She picked it up and fingered the string of beads around its neck.  
  
In her mind, she could still see his awkward smile when he first put them on her.  
  
Looking up again, she found herself face to face with a framed photograph of the three of them. She shook her head as if to disperse her thoughts and then she reached out and put it facedown, away from sight.  
  
She didn't know why yet but she took the necklace off the teddy bear and put it in with the rest of her belongings before zipping the bag up.  
  
"Bessie, I got to go. Pacey will be here any minute," she said and headed downstairs.  
  
The latter stuck her head out from the doorway separating the two rooms. "Be good!" she shouted.

* * *

They followed the rickety signs to the out-of-the-way inn and as they had hoped, the place was only half full.  
  
They had an early dinner before they decided to ask for directions to venture further into the suburbia and stopped by the reception counter. The innkeeper's wife looked sympathetically at Pacey's yellowed bruises.  
  
"Boys these days are always getting into fights over nothing," she said loudly to her husband, who shushed her promptly.  
  
"Martha, leave the poor kid alone."  
  
Joey reached for Pacey's hand and gave it a squeeze. He smiled reassuringly at her.  
  
Martha grumbled audibly and left her husband to take care of their enquiry.  
  
After exchanging friendly advice and banter, they received the directions they required and set off on their way.  
  
"Turn left here," she instructed, reading from the map. "It'll be ten minutes before we get to another sign." Then she folded it back into fours and put it on the dashboard. She dug deep into her pocket for a tube of fruit pastilles and popped one into Pacey's mouth before her own and started to fiddle with the radio.  
  
"You know, I've been waiting to bring it up."  
  
"Bring what up?"  
  
"Your erm-_interesting_ taste in music."  
  
She smacked him on the shoulder. "I have eclectic tastes. What's wrong with the kind of music I like?"  
  
"Alternative?" he said, as if it explained it all.  
  
"So?"  
  
"That's like…_noise_."  
  
"As compared to?"  
  
"Now rock is an entire thing altogether."  
  
They began to badger each other about likes and dislikes and launched into heated debates. Over the next twenty minutes, Pacey even threatened to stop the truck and abandon her a couple of times and she in turn, dared him to.   
  
For once in a long time, it seemed like things were normal again.

*****

"Wow," they breathed in unison.  
  
Joey grabbed her sketchbook and a box of pencils from the back seat and was the first one out of the truck. Pacey followed, clearly stupefied by the sight that laid before him.  
  
"I could stay here forever to draw," Joey said, taking in the grand expanse of green - trees, bushes, plants of all types and a lake. They could hear birds chirping loudly and happily from all directions and behind the big picture they viewed, the sun was setting off a warm glow. It was almost…ethereal.  
  
"Mr. Robert Firth arrived in America from England at the age of 19, made his money and met his wife 10 years his junior in Boston. Together, they built their life in the suburbs and raised three perfect children."  
  
Joey looked at him in surprise.  
  
"I read it somewhere." He continued his commentary. "After the death of the missus, Mr. Firth isolated himself from the outside world in that huge house over there."  
  
They both turned to look at the "huge house" a short distance away.  
  
"Mausoleum is more like it," Joey commented.  
  
"He died in 1981 and his children decided against selling a legacy and opted to open his estate to the public instead."  
  
"I'm glad they did." She ran further into the field, started twirling and let out a shout of excitement. Her hair was blowing in the wind and reflected highlights from the sun. She winked at him and grinned.  
  
Her joy was contagious. He ran after her and caught her in his arms. She dropped her book and pencils and clung on to him while he lifted her and whirled her around until he fell back to the grass, taking her with him. She laughed and he drew her closer to kiss her.  
  


*****

She had sketched until it was no longer possible to see without more light or imagination. Looking over her shoulder, he was impressed with what he saw.  
  
"Joey, that's really good."  
  
"It's hardly anything." She closed the book, slightly reddened. "You're just saying it to make me feel better."  
  
"Hey, not when it comes to this." He moved to a sitting position where he could see her face. "You have a real talent. _What_ were you planning to study at college?"  
  
"I don't really know yet," she answered honestly. "All I've ever thought about was fleeing Capeside."  
  
"Who hasn't?" he agreed. He got to his feet and helped her up. "Come on, let's go before it gets any darker. I don't want to be sharing a bed with whatever's howling in the background."

* * *

She persuaded him to return the next day before they headed for home.   
  
She was out of the vehicle before he had even come to a complete stop. By the time he got out of the driver's seat, she was well settled on the grass and had continued her sketching. Pacey didn't wish to interrupt her and went on to the grounds as far as he could without crossing the boundary between exploring and trespassing.  
  
He found his interest held by the design of the mansion as he neared it and imagined how he would design his own if opportunity, talent and money ever concurred. He had no idea how long he'd been standing there when he heard her calling his name.  
  
"Pacey!"  
  
He turned back and saw her signaling that she was going back to the truck to leave her things. He waited for her to do so, after which she joined him.  
  
"What were you looking at?" she asked.  
  
"I was imagining a lonely 90-year old man, living all by himself and never really getting over his wife's death."  
  
She shrugged. "At least he loved once and was loved in return."   
  
"When did you ever become the romantic sort?" he teased.  
  
She stuck out her tongue at him.  
  
"Shall we go for a walk?" he asked, offering his arm.  
  
She took it. "Why not."

*****

As time passed, their moods got more and more sombre with the knowledge that soon, they would have to face reality again.  
  
A tree along the path they were taking momentarily diverted her attention. It stood out from the rest but she couldn't pinpoint the reason. Maybe because it seemed smaller due to its huge trunk. She went nearer to investigate and rubbed loose bark and dirt away to reveal engravings in the wood.  
  
"K.F. loves E.G," read Pacey.   
  
"There's more." She bent and spotted five more at the lower half of the trunk. "Some of these must have been carved by Firth's kids."  
  
"I wonder how many of these couples actually stayed together," he added without thinking. When he realized what he had just said from the look on her face, he tried to lighten the mood by trying to come up with a witty remark. Unfortunately, he couldn't think of one.  
  
"And look at this." She got down to her knees and held aside the grass that was obscuring her view of something she had been stepping on.

It was a plaque:

**For Catherine  
My beloved wife, lover & one true friend  
I was lost but you brought me home**

**I Love You  
Robert**

Joey lethargically fell back on the ground and leaned against the tree. Pacey followed suit.   
  
"We have to go back soon," she mumbled, suddenly feeling drained. "I wish we didn't have to."  
  
"You know what's weird? Neither of us brought a camera."  
  
On some level, he knew that he hadn't done so because he didn't want to be faced with any physical memory of the time spent with her when they were inevitably to part. It would be too painful.  
  
She felt the same way.  
  
"Do you think Robert Firth knew that his wife was his one true thing when he first met her?"  
  
"Probably."  
  
"If I have to forget everything that's happened, I want to at least remember this place and that we were here."  
  
Her voice quivered when she spoke as she felt the toll of what she had been holding back all this time.   
  
He took her hand. Looking about them, he spotted a fairly large rock by the tree. Pulling them both to their feet, he walked over to survey it. He started pushing at it and with Joey's help, pushed it aside quickly. Getting onto his knees, he started digging with his hands and lifted chucks of dirt to the side to make a hole.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
He lifted more dirt off the ground until he was satisfied. "We'll make our mark right here. We'll bury something of ours."  
  
She got to her knees beside him. "But what?"  
  
They looked at and then around each other.   
  
"Do we have anything in the car?" he asked.  
  
She was playing with the waistband of her pants when she felt them jiggle in her pocket. She had nearly forgotten she'd brought them.  
  
"Beads," she whispered.  
  
"What?"  
  
She lifted them out slowly and Pacey was surprised to see them again.  
  
"I thought you'd have thrown them away by now."  
  
She shook her head. "Never."  
  
His expression hadn't changed. He didn't know what to say as he watched her lower the plastic necklace into the hole. It seemed so inexpensive and yet priceless.  
  
She reached for his hand.   
  
"No matter what happens," she said as she started to tear up. "I don't want us to ever say goodbye. Please promise me that."  
  
He swallowed against the lump in his throat. "I'll always remember there was us, even if it was only for just awhile."  
  
A single tear fell from her eye and onto his hand. He leaned over and kissed the top of her head as she rested it lightly on his shoulder.  
  
They stayed like that until Joey moved away and wiped her tears with the back of her hand. "We should go."  
  
Pacey nodded slightly and Joey helped him lift the portions of the ground he had removed back to where they had come from. When that was done, they pushed the rock to its original position.  
  
They made their way back to the truck, arms around each other. And the place where they had been only moments before remained as it were and looked completely untouched. 

* * *

He sat on his front porch, his mind never far from her smile and the difference she had made to his life in just three months. He had to teach himself to stop thinking about her because it wasn't going to last. It couldn't.   
  
It wouldn't.  
  
A car pulled up in front of the house and the person he was expecting came out the passenger side.  
  
Dawson was home.  
  
"Hey pal!"  
  
"Hey."  
  
He embraced his best friend, afraid to look him in the eye because he was certain every bit of emotion he was feeling would be written clearly on his face.  
  
His eyes dulled as he made the customary remark that this one and only time, he didn't mean.  
  
"Welcome home."

* * *

_To be continued…  
Please send all comments and suggestions to: pacey@hockeymail.com _

* * *


	14. I Love You, But

This Is When It All Began...  
Chapter 14  
I Love You, But...   
by: Jade 

* * *

**Disclaimer****: _Dawson's Creek_ does not belong to me.  
  
Author's Note: Angst, isn't that what _Dawson's Creek_ is all about?**

* * *

"Pacey?"  
  
When he didn't answer her the first time, she said again more forcefully, "Pacey!"  
  
"Yeah?" he finally replied, still distracted. He looked away from the window to her concerned expression.  
  
"Have you heard a word I've said so far?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
She removed the last of her clothing from her suitcase and hung it up in the closet. "I'm going to miss this house once it's sold. I hope this new apartment works out as well as my Dad thinks it's going to. Maybe I can persuade Jack to move back in with us." She opened her drawers and shuffled through her things to make space. "I haven't missed much at school, have I?"  
  
"Nothing you can't catch up with."  
  
Andie rattled on about something else that he simply couldn't focus his attention on. He had been trying ever since she got back but her words were going into one ear and out the next in the same instant.  
  
She stopped in the midst of arranging her socks and her face fell as she started thinking about her summer.  
  
For a brief lapse in time, there was silence as they each wandered into separate thoughts, backs toward each other.  
  
It seemed a very unusual place for two people who were supposedly reunited in love to be - miles apart. 

* * *

"Dawson, there's someone here to see you."  
  
He wrinkled his brow at his father's announcement and wondered who could be at the door.  
  
"Joey," he said softly when he saw her. For the past two days, the few times they had passed each other she had walked by like she hadn't seen him.  
  
The corner of her mouth lifted a tad into a hesitant smile.  
  
"Hello, Dawson," she said.

*****

His face was buried in his hands.  
  
"Mind if I join you?"  
  
He uncovered his eyes and saw his father standing before him on the porch.   
  
"Sure, Pop." He waved toward the empty seat. "Why not?"  
  
John Witter stayed quiet and Pacey didn't need to look up again to know that his father was staring at him.  
  
"Please don't lecture me now," he said, voice muffled beneath his hands.  
  
"I once knew a guy who loved his best friend more than anything in the world. Then one day, he found himself in love with his best friend's girlfriend." He paused to take a breath. "He decided to take a chance and tell his best friend the truth. His best friend couldn't bring himself to forgive him…or her and the friendship was gone."  
  
Pacey rubbed his temples, not sure he wanted to know the answer but asked anyway, "What happened after that?"  
  
"From what I hear, this guy met this girl again after college and they've been blissfully married for 20 years now. But his best friend hasn't been happy for a long time."  
  
He wasn't quite sure what to make of his father's story and his baffled expression reflected that.   
  
The latter didn't make a move to enlighten him any further. He simply stood up, patted his son on the shoulder and left.

*****

Joey thanked him for the drink he handed her.  
  
"I'm surprised to see you here."  
  
She was playing with her glass turning it between her palms and dripping water from the condensed surface onto the grass below.  
  
"I thought it was time we straightened things out."  
  
"I agree."  
  
"Before I lose my courage completely, I want to say I'm sorry." She looked at him when she said it, determined to show her sincerity. "I've had a lot of time to think and what my father did had nothing to do with you. I needed someone to blame and you were there."  
  
"I'll be painfully honest with you too."  
  
She nodded, half-aware of what he was going to say.  
  
"You hurt me and it's taken me a long time to come to terms with it."  
  
"It's not going to go away overnight, I know. But I would like us to try to be…friends again."  
  
Dawson wasn't sure what had caused the melancholic look on her face when she said "friends" but it was obvious that she tried to conceal it.   
  
"I would like us to be civil to each other too," he agreed. "We've been best friends for as long as we can remember. It would be a shame to forget that."  
  
Her eyes clouded over. "Yes it would," she whispered. "Yes."

* * *

Pacey was walking with Dawson to class when he spotted her. He expected her to bolt in the opposite direction since she noticed Dawson before he did her, like she has been since school started.   
  
What she did next took him completely by surprise.  
  
"Hi," she said. She had walked up to them and initiated conversation.   
  
Dawson acted like nothing was out of the ordinary as he greeted her back. They exchanged small talk as Pacey stood by.   
  
The bell went and she excused herself to go to her first class. All the time she was talking, she kept her eyes on Dawson and nowhere else. Not even once did she glance his way.

*****

He tugged on her arm, pulling her into a corner before she could protest as she walked out of the classroom. She had stayed back after her last class for the day to speak to her teacher about an impending assignment and by the time she was done, the school was already deserted.  
  
"You want to tell me what's going on?" he questioned immediately.  
  
"Nothing's going on," she denied.  
  
"The strangest thing happened today. I find out that you went to Dawson's house last night and the two of you _talked_. And then it became clear that perhaps, it wasn't so much him but _me_," he said, his hand on his chest, "that you were avoiding."  
  
His voice was increasing in volume and agitation and was beginning to echo down the corridor. Joey headed for the nearest exit before anyone overheard them.  
  
"I didn't think it was in your nature to grasp at straws," she retorted.  
  
He held onto her elbow and she swung around. "Is this _it_?" he asked accusingly. "You're back with Dawson and you want me to say it's over so you don't have to do it yourself?"  
  
"Stop putting words in my mouth!"  
  
"Then tell me the _truth_!"  
  
Her infuriation and frustration got the better of her and she didn't care anymore if anyone heard her as they continued to yell at each other.  
  
"What _truth_! Have you even made up your mind about what you're going to tell Andie?" Unfortunately, she hadn't counted on the odds of breaking down in tears and she tried her hardest to keep her voice from trembling. "Why do you expect me to know what to do when you obviously have no clue yourself?"  
  
He looked utterly crestfallen as he brought her into the chain of his embrace. She wrapped her arms around him and rested the side of her face on his shoulder.  
  
"Please don't make me do it," he quietly pleaded.  
  
"Dawson and I are not back together."  
  
He went on as if he hadn't heard her. "I renounce the choice you gave me. If you want it to end, you're going to have to tell me because I could never bring myself to say the words."  
  
Her response was to hug him even closer. Maybe if I shut my eyes tight enough, it'll all go away, she thought in utter hopelessness.

* * *

He had no idea how Time managed to escape their notice but it did and before either of them knew it, it was a month to Christmas.   
  
"You sure you don't want to come along?" Andie asked for the umpteenth time, still hoping that he'd change his mind about going to Rhode Island for Thanksgiving.  
  
He shook his head. " It was hard enough getting Jack to agree to go. You and your family need to be by yourselves."  
  
"All right." She reached out to kiss him on the lips and he returned her gesture less than wholeheartedly.   
  
It wasn't the first time she sensed that he was holding back. Faking a cheery façade that she did so well, she refused to admit to herself that things haven't been right between them for months.  
  
"I'll see you Monday?"  
  
"Sure."

*****

"I'm sure you know that Dawson and his Dad are going to Philly to visit his Mom."  
  
"Hmm."  
  
"Does that mean you, Bessie and Alexander will be able to make it for dinner at my place instead?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
Jen sighed. "Come on, it'll be just Grams and me. I don't think I could take the torture alone. You should be grateful I'm willing to share it."  
  
Joey rolled her eyes in amusement. "All right. I'll have to ask Bessie first but she'll probably say anything to avoid being bogged down in the kitchen by a turkey. The thought of cooking it herself gives her the shivers."  
  
Jen chuckled.  
  
Joey's lightened mood turned serious as she remembered why she called Jen out in the first place.   
  
"I don't know why I'm going to tell you this," she confessed.  
  
"Maybe it's because I'm listening."   
  
She smiled wryly at her reply. "I used to tell Dawson everything. Now I can't for obvious reasons. I can't even talk to Jack for fear of putting him in a spot."  
  
"Glad to know I'm your first choice."  
  
"Jen-"  
  
"I was kidding." She leaned in closer over the table. "Look, our friendship," she said, wrinkling her brows, "if you can even call it _that_, is weird. I'll be the first to admit that the civility between us is starting to become very enjoyable. You want to talk, I'll be here. You don't want to, that's fine with me. I'm here because I know what it's like when you want to be heard but there's no one around to listen."  
  
"Thank you," she said and she meant it.  
  
"You're welcome."  
  
Joey signaled for the waitress for another cup of coffee before continuing to speak.  
  
"Things between Dawson and I have been improving of late. The friendship will never be the same of course but it's close enough." She paused to allow her order to put on the table. She tore open a sachet of brown sugar and poured it into the cup. "He suspects something."  
  
"That isn't the main problem." It was more of a statement than a question.  
  
Joey was still constantly amazed at how perceptive Jen was. "No," she said. "I think some part of him wants us to be…_us_ again."  
  
"He's never actually said anything?"  
  
"No, but you know how Dawson is. It takes awhile for his too-rational mind to catch up with the heart he wears on his sleeve."  
  
"In other words, he doesn't know it yet but everyone else does." Jen started drawing imaginary circles on the window she had the side of her head against. "I've been there." Joey opened her mouth but Jen stopped her before she could apologize another time. "Please don't say you're sorry and you wished things could have been different because I'm not."   
  
The former took a sip of her coffee instead.  
  
"Thank you," Jen noted with humor. "Just think, if all that had happened _hadn't_ happened, I could be in a very bad place right now."  
  
"Or not."  
  
"Let's not go there. We're here to talk about you, so talk."  
  
"You can guess how much I hate the term 'sneaking around'."  
  
Jen nodded in understanding.  
  
"Good, cause that's exactly what I've been doing." Joey leaned back with her shoulders slumped. "I feel like such a hypocrite."  
  
"Are you planning to tell Dawson before he finds out on his own?"  
  
Joey stared off into space and for a moment, Jen thought that she might have missed the question completely.   
  
"I've tried," she finally admitted, "several times. But every time I looked into his face and realized that it wasn't just our friendship I was going to ruin, I stopped."  
  
"Does Pacey know about this?"  
  
"My decision to tell Dawson?" Joey shook her head. "As often as he can, he makes up an excuse to tell Andie and then he comes over. We'll be watching some sitcom on TV and we'll be laughing, but all we're really doing is trying to forget…Alex absolutely adores him." She took a deep breath. "We do everything _but _talk about what we're going to do. I was planning to tell Dawson that I had met someone else over the summer but that was it. I wasn't going to drag Pacey into it."  
  
"But he _is_ in it. An attempt to ease your conscience but aren't you forgetting that Dawson is no longer as naïve as he used to be?"  
  
"Must you be so brutally frank?'  
  
"Look. I don't always believe in the 'honesty is the best policy' concept. Sometimes, I think it's downright BS. If you _are_ planning to be with Dawson and Pacey, Andie, you're going to hurt him if you tell him. Maybe you'll tell him in the future but _not_ now. It may be a myth but I have it on good authority that people don't hurt as much when they don't know what they _don't_ have to know."   
  
Joey was trying to take it all in. "The only problem is I don't think it's Dawson I want," she let out slowly.  
  
Jen sighed and rested her head back against the window.   
  
"I was afraid you were going to say that."

* * *

It was a tradition in itself that the holidays usually brought out the worst in people and were trying times for families. With Thanksgiving weekend over, Christmas approaching and the countdown to New Year's Day in the new Millenium having begun, it was no wonder that a somber cloud lingered where it wasn't wanted.   
  
Andie strode with determination toward Joey.  
  
"I need to talk to you. Could you spare a couple of minutes after school?"  
  
She was slightly taken aback by and wary of the direct request but she agreed.   
  
"Good, I'll see you then."  
  
Joey was left biting her bottom lip in dread and confusion.

*****

"I can't keep this in anymore," he whispered whilst keeping an eye on the man at the front of the class to make sure they weren't being watched.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Pacey asked, less cautious if anyone heard.  
  
"I wasn't sure before but now I am." He pretended to note something down that the teacher had just said. "Joey's hiding something."  
  
Pacey stopped playing with his pen. "What makes you think that?"  
  
"I know Joey and she's acting strange."  
  
As timely as he always was, Mr. Travis interrupted. "Anything I can help you with, Mr. Leery, Mr. Witter?  
  
Dawson was quick to intervene. "No, sir. Couldn't quite see a word or two on the board but that's over now." He nudged his friend for support.  
  
Pacey nodded absently.

*****

Joey crossed and uncrossed her fingers several times before she found enough courage to approach Andie.   
  
"Glad you came," was all she said. She didn't even bat an eyelid when Joey slotted her legs through and settled on the bench beside her.  
  
Joey decided it was best to remain silent until she had an inkling of what this conversation was to be about.  
  
"How was your Thanksgiving?"  
  
"Fine. And yours?"  
  
"I wasn't supposed to see him but I did."  
  
"Pacey?" She was utterly confused.  
  
"Sam. I went to see Sam at the hospital."  
  
Joey fidgeted uncomfortably.   
  
"I told him before I had a boyfriend and it wouldn't work out between us."   
  
"Andie-"  
  
"I was right. I saw him again over the weekend and I was more certain than ever that Pacey is the one I want." And for the first time that day, she looked Joey right in the eye as she spoke. "He's one of the good ones."  
  
Joey turned away and Andie's eyes started to brim with tears.  
  
"He's been so distant. When he's with me, his mind is always somewhere else."  
  
"Andie-" she tried again.  
  
"On you."   
  
Joey's gaze shot up to the latter's face, stupefied. She supposed it would have been redundant to ask how Andie had figured it out - secrets always surfaced, no matter how long and how deep they were buried.  
  
She found herself unable to speak, least of all in defense.  
  
"It's important that I find security in my life right now. My doctor feels that that would be the key to complete recovery."  
  
"I-"  
  
Andie found her hand and held on to it. "You'll always have Dawson. I have nothing if I don't have Pacey."  
  
Joey tried to move her hand away but was unsuccessful. "Andie, please don't do this."  
  
"Joey, I'm asking you not to take him away from me. He's the one and only _good_ thing that's happened to me and I don't want to lose that."  
  
She knew she was headed toward the doom of emotional blackmail the minute she realized this conversation was about Pacey. What was she supposed to say?  
  
Tears were rapidly falling down Andie's face and Joey couldn't help but be choked up by emotion too.  
  
"My Mom's not getting any better and the relationship between Jack and our Dad has worsened. I can't deal with all of this on top of losing Pacey." She put her arms around her stomach as though in pain. "I can _feel_ it. He's going to tell me he wants to break up."  
  
Joey wrapped her arms around Andie. "Everything's going to be okay," she finally said. "Pacey isn't going to leave you, I promise."

*****

"You've been with her the whole summer. Wouldn't you know if she met someone?"  
  
"It's not like I spent every single minute of the day with her," he quickly interjected. "I have a life too, you know."  
  
"Yeah," Dawson said, finally sitting down after having paced his room a dozen times. "I'm glad you were with her at that party though. If I ever catch sight of Bradley, I'll kill that asshole!"  
  
"You and me both, buddy."  
  
"Maybe the incident's affected her more than we think which would begin to explain her behavior."  
  
Pacey hated to ask but he had to know. "Dawson, you're not thinking of getting back with Joey, are you?"  
  
"What do you think?" he evaded.  
  
"Well, are you?" Pacey's tone was harsher than he had intended and Dawson raised his brow in surprise and was under the assumption that Pacey was reacting so strongly against the idea because he didn't think it was a good one.  
  
"Too soon, huh?" Dawson plopped back against his bed. "You may be right but I can't help it. I'm still in love with her."  
  
Pacey felt sick to the stomach and he walked to the window for fresh air. "Have you said anything to her?"  
  
"Not yet." Dawson glanced at his watch. "But I'll be seeing her tonight and I'll get straight to the point about what's bothering her first. This time round, I'm going to take things slow."  
  
"Good luck," he managed to croak out. "I hope you get some answers tonight."  
  
"You and me both, buddy."

* * *

He was sitting by the docks as usual, waiting for her.  
  
Listening out for her footsteps, he spoke as soon as she was within earshot. "Dawson wants to know why you've been different lately."  
  
"I've been expecting it."  
  
"What are you going to tell him?"  
  
"I'm going to tell him nothing's been bothering me."  
  
Pacey looked over his shoulder at her. "Then you've definitely thought this over a lot more than I have because I'm going to tell Andie the truth."  
  
"You can't do that."  
  
He stood up and turned around. "Why can't I?"  
  
"You tell her and then what?"  
  
"Then I'll leave. I can't stay in the relationship, it wouldn't be fair to her. Or me."  
  
She shook her head stubbornly. "No, you'll be making a huge mistake you'll regret for the rest of your life."  
  
"What are you saying?"  
  
She turned on her heels and headed for the house. He followed and moved to stand in front of her before she could walk past the door.   
  
"What's going on?"  
  
"I finally made a decision," she said without a hint of emotion in her voice or her demeanor.  
  
He took a step back at her coldness. "Were you planning to tell me about it?"  
  
Her eyes lifted to his and in the same emotionless tone, she said, "We both know what Dawson has in mind and when he asks, I'm saying yes."  
  
Pacey ran his hand through his hair and gave a short, humorless laugh. "So, I guess that's the extent of what you feel for me."  
  
She side stepped him and reached for the doorknob. "I suppose it is."  
  
He grabbed her hand. "I don't believe you."  
  
"It's the truth."  
  
"Then look me in the eye and tell me you feel _nothing_ for me."  
  
She swung her head up and looked him straight in the eye.  
  
"I feel _nothing_ for you," she repeated forcefully but with dead calm. "Don't throw away what you have with Andie because of some summer fling."  
  
_Don't you understand? We **can't** feel the same way about each other. Andie needs you._

He stared at her a long time before letting go of her hand. "Summer fling," he said quietly. "So, the words have been spoken." He brushed past her, moved down the stairs and didn't look back once as he continued down the road.  
  
Joey didn't wait to see if he'd stop as she fumbled with the door and hastily entered the house and closed it quickly behind her. She slid down it on to the floor and then huddled and cried her heart out.   
  
She didn't know how long she had been sitting there until a tiny hand grabbed a fistful of her hair, forcing her to look up.   
  
"-ey," he said, in childish mode.  
  
Through her tear-filled vision, she saw her nephew's face and held him to her. "Alex, you're walking," she said in awe.  
  
"Jo," he repeated. "-ey."  
  
Glancing over him, she saw Bessie standing down the hall, looking worried and concerned but Joey could not offer her any assurance that she would be fine because she didn't feel like she was ever going to be.  
  
She regarded Alexander's smiling face and kissed him on the cheek, then hugged him some more.

* * *

_To be continued…  
Please send all comments and suggestions to: pacey@hockeymail.com _

* * *


	15. Let Me Let Go

This Is When It All Began...  
Chapter 15  
Let Me Let Go   
by: Jade 

* * *

**Disclaimer****: _Dawson's Creek_ does not belong to me.  
  
Author's Note: This is the last of the present series. The story will continue in the next and final one. I want to thank everyone who has been so supportive of _Began_.   
  
****Refresh your memory by reading the Prologue in Part 1 of _Long Ago..._**

* * *

The duvet over her head was unceremoniously flung aside before she even had time to contemplate that there was somebody else in the room.  
  
"That's it. You can't coop yourself up in here any longer."  
  
She blinked several times before she recognized who it was.  
  
"Go away," she said and reached for the blanket again.   
  
Jen flung them further. "It's not like you to mope."  
  
"Well, it wasn't like me to be a lot of things before this," she retorted. "Now will you _please_ go away?"  
  
Jen grabbed the covers.   
  
"I asked you nicely," Joey warned.  
  
"So sue me. I know how annoying it is to be forced out of bed but I never knew how fun it was to be the one doing it. Maybe that's why Grams enjoys it so much."  
  
"You're crazy."  
  
She shrugged. "So I am."

* * *

"There's Jen-", she stopped short when Jen paused in her step to hurry someone behind her.   
  
Andie turned in time to see Pacey's face fall at the sight of Joey. She quickly looked away before he noticed she knew what she wasn't supposed to know.   
  
"Should we go say hi?"  
_  
_Smiling slightly, he said, "Is it all right if we don't? They look like they're in a hurry anyway."  
  
Andie turned to see Jen still stopping now and then to wait for Joey who was lagging behind.  
  
She smiled back wistfully. "Okay." Then she put her arm around his and they made for the opposite direction.

***** 

"So you pretty much have it figured out."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You're going to spend the next two years of high school avoiding him."  
  
They walked out of the shop.   
  
"Why? What do you suggest I do?"  
  
"I was just making an observation. He's avoiding you too, you know that."  
  
Joey stopped in her tracks. "How do you mean?"  
  
"I didn't want to say anything before." Jen stared down at her feet. "I caught a glimpse of him and Andie across the street about twenty minutes ago.   
  
"And he couldn't wait to disappear," Joey added. It hurt her still, too much at times, to think about what they had. What they could have had. "You know what?" Her voice trembled. "Could we do this another time? I don't feel very well."  
  
Jen nodded mutely.

***** 

That night, like many other nights before, Joey woke up with a start and struggled for breath. Each time, only after her breathing had quieted down that she allowed herself to think about what was constantly plaguing her subconscious. Had she made a mistake?

* * *

Andie wrestled with her fingers, bending them forward and backward in nervousness as she knocked on the outer door.   
  
Joey saw her and hesitated. They stood watching each other through the translucent netting before she went to meet her.  
  
"Andie," she started in a hostile tone, "whatever reason you're here for, I'm not in the mood to listen to it."  
  
"I just wanted to thank you."  
  
"Please don't do that. Just go home, please." She started to close the door on her but Andie reached out to stop it.   
  
"Joey, you may not believe it but I'm very sorry."  
  
The latter shook her head and let out a short humorless laugh. "What am I supposed to do with that?"  
  
Andie bit her lip to stop it from quivering. "Yes, he came back to me." Her expression became one of extreme sadness. "H-h-," she paused for composure. "He came back to me and he said, 'I'm back now but it hurts too much to talk about why I was gone'. He was going to tell me anyway but I stopped him."  
  
Joey turned away.  
  
"He's a _great_ person and every single day, I'm grateful that I was loved and cherished." She let go of the door. "I can wait. Until he loves me the way he used to." She picked up her bag on the floor and hurriedly ran off the porch.  
  
Joey stood there unmoving from her position until she suddenly ran outside to halt her. "Andie!"  
  
Andie swung around, surprised.  
  
"You thought you knew him," she said. The former looked at her, waiting for her to continue.  
  
"You do," she finally added.   
  
Andie smiled through her tears.  
  
Joey returned her gesture sadly. "Take care of him."  
  
"I will."

* * *

Nearly two months had passed since their last encounter. He didn't even want to dwell too much on it otherwise he might just go into town, looking for a fight and someone to punch just to vent his frustration.   
  
Everyone at home made certain to stay out of his way whenever possible as he permanently wore a scowl. Not even his normally annoying brother wished to provoke him when he was in that mood.  
  
Mr. Witter decided that the extent of self-punishment was enough.  
  
"You're hurting no one but yourself with all that anger and guilt that's building inside of you."  
  
Pacey was sitting in the dark in his room when his father paid him a visit.  
  
"It'll just eat you alive."  
  
"Maybe then I won't feel a thing," he muttered.  
  
"Believe me, you will. And so will the people around you."  
  
"Dad, you got the girl. It's not quite the same."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"That story. The one about the guy and his best friend. You are the guy who got the girl, aren't you?"  
  
John laughed and walked to the window. "You got it backwards, son. I was the best friend," he said softly.  
  
Pacey straightened in his chair. "What about Mom?"  
  
"What about Mom? I met her when she moved into our hometown three years after Jake and Anna went off to college."  
  
"W-wh-" he couldn't form a complete sentence at the newly disclosed information.   
  
"Yes, Anna was the one I loved."  
  
"What about Mom?" he asked again, his voice rising in alarm.  
  
"I love your Mom. It took me a long time and a lifetime of mistakes to realize that, but I do love your Mom."  
  
Maybe it was his father's tone or maybe it was what he said and the way he said it but his memory was triggered and he recalled faintly, an argument his parents had when he was about six. He couldn't remember what was said; he could only remember the look on his father's face and the sound of his mother crying and pleading. Thereafter, his father's attitude changed toward him.  
  
He stood up slowly from his chair. "Was Mom having an affair?" The words left his mouth before he realized it.  
  
John debated on whether to tell him everything.  
  
"Was Mom having an affair?" This time, his voice lost its emotion.  
  
"It wasn't her fault. I was unhappy and I was making her miserable. She turned to someone who cared about her for once."  
  
His voice remained impassioned. "How long was this before I was born?"   
  
"It doesn't matter now, Pacey." John walked away from the window to look his son in the eye. "It doesn't matter now."  
  
Pacey brushed off his hand from his arm. "If it doesn't matter, why are you telling me this?" he demanded to know.  
  
"Because I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did. You can't shut yourself off from the people who are there and who love you." John reached for him again. "I had so much hatred in me that I couldn't see straight."  
  
Pacey moved away.  
  
"I got a call from Anna this morning." John let out a huge sigh of regret. "Jake passed away last night."  
  
Pacey shook his head as if he wasn't listening.  
  
"All he wanted was for me to forgive him. I have for a long time now but I never told him."  
  
"Am I your son?" he said loudly, almost shouting.  
  
"Pacey-"  
  
"You won't tell me." In his impulsiveness, he stormed out of the room in search of his mother. He found her in her room.   
  
"What-" she began to say but was cut off by her son.  
  
"Is John Witter my father?"  
  
John rushed into their room and exchanged looks with this wife whose face immediately fell.   
  
"Somebody tell me!"  
  
"Pacey-" his mother started.   
  
"Is he?" He was shaking from rage.  
  
John stepped in between him and his mother. "We don't know. We've never actually done any tests. But it doesn't matter."  
  
"Oh my God," he mumbled, backing out of the room. He turned on his heel and he started to run. This was the last place he wanted to be right now. His parents had been lying to him all this time. His whole life was a sham.  
  
He slammed the front door against the cries of his mother.

* * *

"No, Mr. Witter. I haven't seen him."  
  
Bessie raised her eyebrow in question when Joey tensed up as she spoke to the party on the other line.   
  
What's going on, she mouthed.  
  
Joey put her hand up to halt the question. "Yes, I'll be sure to call you the minute I hear from him."  
  
Bessie stood up gingerly to go upstairs with Alexander fast asleep in her arms.  
  
"Don't worry. He just needs time, he'll be back when he cools off."  
  
Bessie re-entered the living room and settled back on the couch just as she put the receiver down and held on to it.  
  
"Is everything all right?"  
  
"I don't know," she replied, looking at the clock. "Pacey and his father had an argument a couple of hours ago and he stormed out. Mr. Witter wouldn't tell me what it was about."  
  
She walked back and forth several times before grabbing her coat.  
  
"And where do you think you're going?" Bessie asked.  
  
"I don't think sitting around is going to help."  
  
"If Mr. Witter thought of calling you, there's a chance that Pacey might actually come _here_."  
  
Joey looked doubtful. "After what happened, I don't think he'll come within a mile of me."  
  
"Just wait. I don't want to spend the night worrying about not one, but two of you."  
  
"One hour," she said. "That's all I can promise." 

***** 

Forty-five minutes had passed. She was considering sneaking out past a sleeping Bessie when she caught sight of a huddled shadow outside.  
  
She dropped her coat and rushed out. Nearing him, she quickened her pace.  
  
"Oh my God." She dropped to her knees and cupped his face between her palms and brushed his wet hair frantically out off his eyes.   
  
He was soaked to the skin and he was shivering. His eyes regarded her blankly as she turned his face toward hers.   
  
She began to panic when she saw how pale he was. "We have to get you warm." She tried to help him up but fell back with his lifeless weight.  
  
"I couldn't think of anywhere else to go," he mumbled.  
  
"Pacey, _please_." She took his arm and put it around her shoulder again and tried to pull him up by the waist. "We have to get you inside."  
  
Bessie awakened from sleep to see what the commotion was about. She hurriedly went to the aid of her sister and the both of them managed to half-drag, half-carry him into the house.  
  
She scrambled to get a towel whilst Bessie rumbled through her closet for some of Bodie's clothes, both trying their best to be quiet so as not to wake Alexander up.  
  
His hands were so numb from the cold he couldn't unbutton his own shirt. She had to do it for him. When he was clothed in dry garments and his hair toweled dry, Joey sat across him on the coffee table and started warming his hands between her own.  
  
"What the hell were you thinking swimming in the creek in the middle of winter?"  
  
"I walked as far as I could. It was faster to swim."  
  
"This is _not_ a joke, Pacey." She leaned in closer. "You scared the shit out of me."  
  
His eyes were dull. "You don't hear me laughing."  
  
She held onto him with one hand and scooted over for the telephone with other. "I have to call your parents to let them know you're okay."  
  
She gasped in surprise when he grabbed her hand.  
  
"I don't want them to know."  
  
She brought her hand back. "Why?"  
  
"I'm not ready to face them."  
  
"They're worried-"  
  
"_They_ are the reason I'm not home."  
  
"Whatever happened, they're still your parents."  
  
"No, they're not."  
  
He began to tell her the whole story. "So my mother had an affair and I don't know if I'm my father's son." He scoffed. "I can't see them. Not yet," he said. He stood up and walked toward the door.  
  
Joey recovered her composure. "What are you doing?"  
  
"I'm leaving."  
  
"You can't do that."  
  
"I've caused enough problems around here. I should go."  
  
"If you're not going home, I'd rather know you'll be somewhere safe," she replied stubbornly.  
  
"Joey-"  
  
"Is there anyone else you'd prefer to stay with?" she interrupted as it occurred to her that she hadn't thought to ask before.  
  
They stared at each other.   
  
"No," he said. "There isn't."

* * *

The room was lit by a single glow from the fireplace. She sat by the foot of the couch where he was laying, keeping him company.  
  
"I'm sorry for the way things turned out."  
  
"I'm sorry too."  
  
Joey shifted in order to see his face properly.  
  
"I don't want to spend the rest of my life avoiding you," he continued. "You are and always will be a special part of me, even if you're no longer there in my life."  
  
For the first time in months, her smile was small but unforced. "So are you in mine," she said quietly.  
  
His eyelids fluttered as he drifted between sleep and being awake. "Is it time to forgive each other for letting go?" he asked drowsily.  
  
She mulled over it but when she looked over, she saw that he was already fast asleep. She got up from the floor onto the side of the couch. Taking his hand, she kissed him on the forehead. He stirred slightly.   
  
"Sleep well. Things will be better in the morning."  
  
She brushed his fringe lightly away from his forehead and took in his repose.  
  
"I love you." It was a whisper, like a light breeze barely moving a leaf.   
  
It wouldn't have changed anything, but she was relieved she finally said the words.

***** 

He woke up about five hours later in the middle of the night, completely awake. There was no one around but him. He lay there, staring at the ceiling, thinking. He then sat up and he remained like that for a long time, pre-occupied with thoughts. The next time he looked up, the sun was up. 

* * *

He turned the key in the lock and opened the door. Walking in, he was met by his parents who had obviously spent the night waiting up for him in the living room.  
  
They held back, afraid to touch him in case he rejected them. Instead, they waited for his reaction.  
  
"No more lies," he said. "I want you to tell me everything."

***** 

Joey picked up the note that he had left on the coffee table. Her smile grew wider as she read through it. "He's gone home," she told Bessie.

* * *

Dawson saw that she was already outside her house. She was sitting on the stairs, looking into space when he approached.  
  
He remained where he was until she spoke. "You never did finish building that white picket fence."  
  
"I didn't think you'd want me to."  
  
"Maybe it'd be easier to just take it down."  
  
Dawson considered if her words hid a deeper meaning. "Why shouldn't I just continue at it?"  
  
"It's gone through too much rain and shine. If you keep at it, it'll look out of place from the rest."  
  
He waited for her to turn toward him.   
  
"It might be better to rebuild the whole thing from scratch," she said. "Or not at all."  
  
"It's really up to you, Joey."  
  
"Give me time, Dawson."  
  
"I can't seem to say no to you. Not now, not ever."

***** 

He was waiting for her outside her apartment and when she came running toward him in her usual bubbly way, he smiled. He kissed her and he hadn't taken the initiative in awhile.   
  
"What was that for?" Andie asked, laughing.  
  
"Just for being so bright on a school day, McPhee," Pacey replied.

* * *

* * *

"I don't even know why I'm doing this," Joey said for the umpteenth time that day. "They've probably already made their selection of the student intake for the year. There's no way I'm going to get picked."  
  
"Will you stop it?" Dawson chided. "The school's perfect for you." He licked the stamp in between words. "And even if you don't get in, " he said, pasting it to the brown surface, "at least you can say you tried."  
  
"B-"  
  
"Joey, shut up." They passed the mailbox and he slotted the envelope in. "All you're doing now is sending for an application. Relax, it's too early to panic."  
  
"I shouldn't have let you talk me into this."  
  
He crossed his arms and shook his head in dismay. "I may not be that great a judge of artwork but I dare say you have sometalent. At least enough to try, okay?"  
  
"I was all prepared to study English or something." She sighed. "Lots of people love to draw. It doesn't always mean they'll make it to art school."  
  
"Come on," he said, giving up on trying to convince her and steered her across the street with his arm around her.   
  
  
They met Pacey and Andie at the new coffee place _Costa_ that had recently opened.   
  
"Would you excuse us a minute? Andie and I have something important to discuss."  
  
Joey flashed him a look of faked annoyance. "Dawson, I swear I'll kill you if I find out you're planning a surprise birthday party for me."  
  
He shrugged and gave her his best imitation of nonchalance before heading for a table out of earshot. Andie laughed and followed him.   
  
She grinned, secretly pleased. Turning her attention back to their table, she met Pacey's smiling face.   
  
"Seventeen years old. It seemed like such a long time away before."  
  
She nodded.  
  
"I, Pacey Witter, actually am about to graduate from high school."  
  
She smiled. "_We_ are going to make it."  
  
"Hey Pacey," Dawson called out. "Convince her about art school, will you?"  
  
Pacey gave him a thumbs-up.  
  
"Ignore him," she advised.  
  
He leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms. "He was right in making you give it a shot."  
  
"Even if I do get it, I have to be completely sure it is what I want before I give up my other offers."  
  
"You'll know it," he said. "In here." His hand was over his heart. "Your instincts seldom fail you."  
  
She snorted. "I highly doubt that."  
  
"You'll know." His eyes found Andie and they smiled at each other. Looking back, he told Joey, "You made me remember what I had and I'm grateful for that."  
  
She gave him a regretful glance. "But I'm still sorry I lied to you."  
  
There were things they understood about each other that didn't have to be explained in words. It seemed they knew each other better even though they were hardly together anymore. The friendship was never the same but it was as though their time together that one summer had nevertheless created an indestructible bond of deep, mutual understanding.  
  
He didn't need to ask what she meant. He had suspected and then known for a long time now the events that must have transpired before she made her decision. He would never blame Andie. She was as much of a victim as they were. And he could never blame Joey for choosing to let go first.  
  
"You don't have to apologize. Getting back with Dawson wasn't so much an excuse as to what prompted you to say it."   
  
"Which is?"  
  
"Hope."  
  
"Hope," she repeated softly.  
  
"Hope and dreams," he said. "Don't give up on them. My grandfather used to say that was what made life more tolerable."  
  
"And even though I eventually chose not to get back with Dawson, you don't blame me."  
  
He shook his head. "I often also wonder if the man I call Dad is in fact my father. But he's right, it doesn't matter now."  
  
"I wish we hadn't spent the best halves of our lives fighting so much." She grinned ruefully. "It was quite a waste of time."  
  
"Never," he said smiling widely. "I would never have given up those sparring sessions for anything!" He reached for her hand and covered it with his own. "Joey, whatever you decide. You'll make it."  
  
"Thank you." _Thank you for everything._  
  
__

_

* * *

_

_Capeside, Massachusetts  
2001  
  
_She noticed the printed address on the corner of the manila envelope amongst the other mail and stopped.  
  
She stopped walking. She stopped breathing.  
  
Bending closer to the table, she made sure she wasn't dreaming. Swallowing nervously, she gingerly ran her fingers over the address.  
  
It was yes or no. Now or never.  
  
She picked it up and nearly dropped it to the floor. Tearing it open with shaky hands, she reached in for its contents. The letter was on top.   
  
She closed her eyes for a few seconds in preparation for the verdict. Opening them again, she quickly scanned through it before she lost her nerve.  
  
_Dear Miss Potter-  
  
_She gulped. _Congratulations_. She read through the letter again.   
  
Slowly, she broke into a grin and then she screamed in joy.

***** 

He wasn't set to leave for L.A. until later that afternoon. His mother had been sorting through the family photo albums when she had told her where he was. As she quickened her step to catch him up, her mind returned to last night where they had bade each other farewell.  
_  
_She had hugged him and kissed him on the cheek but never once said goodbye.  
  
Pacey and her both suspected it was the last time they would ever see each other for a very long time to come, maybe never again but it was important they kept up the illusion that they might meet sometime in the future. Because promises were meant to be kept and as they had promised each other before, even though it seemed so far back, there were to be no goodbyes.  
  
No goodbyes.  
  
She stopped walking.  
  
The sky was a mass of different colors. It was a beautiful summer evening.  
  
She saw him, hands in his pockets, looking out to the water.   
  
As she gazed at his frame by the railings, all the memories, bad and good, came flooding back.   
  
She crossed her arms and could not help but smile, in spite of her turmoil.  
  
If he turns back before the boat crosses the line, I'll tell him, she decided.   
  
She hadn't even realized she had been holding her breath until she slowly expelled it.   
  
The boat had crossed. He hadn't looked back.   
  
She took one last look at him. And then she walked away.

***** 

He felt his heart jump a beat. He turned around and saw no one but somehow he knew Joey was near.   
  
Looking back to the water, he took in what he could of Capeside today. Tomorrow, he would be on the other side of the country, absorbing new sights and sounds. He had decided to spend his summer in Los Angeles with his sister whilst waiting for the fall semester at UCLA to begin.   
  
Who would have guessed? He made it to college after all.  
  
She touched his shoulder lightly and let her hand remain there. He reached over and held onto it.  
  
"You don't have to say anything. I understand," she said.  
  
Andie looked beautiful to him when he turned to face her.   
  
He took her into his arms and they swayed gently to imaginary music. She rested her head on his shoulder.  
  
"Time for me to let go and be on my own," she added softly.  
  
He kissed the top of her head.  
  
"I'll be fine," she reassured him.

***** 

He got back to the house with enough time to spare.   
  
His mother was already starting to move his belongings into the car that they were driving to the airport.   
  
"Pacey," she said. "Joey came by and left something for you."  
  
He picked up the scroll and removed the ribbon that was holding it into place. Still wondering what it could be, he unrolled it and his expression was one of surprise, then amazement and finally, saddened joy.  
  
"Is anything wrong?" his mother asked, noticing his reaction.  
  
"No," he shook his head as he rolled it back carefully. "Everything's perfect."

* * *

_End of **This Is When It All Began…**  
To be continued in the next series **The Story of Us  
**Please send all comments and suggestions to: pacey@hockeymail.com _

* * *


End file.
